


The Terrible Twins - A Striking at Shadows Story

by enloeddmedia



Series: Striking at Shadows and Related Stories [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben is having a hard time, Ben regrets stuff, Benny's getting serious, Childbirth, Depression, Everyone will be fine in the end except maybe the droid, Explicit Language, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Frustration, HAN!, Humor, Lightsaber Battles, Little Leia can kick ass, Mentioned Han Solo, Mischief, Motherhood, Nostalgia, POV Ben Solo, Poor Ben, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Postpartum Depression, Redeemed Ben Solo, Referenced birth complications, Soft Ben Solo, Stay away from Ben's teen daughter, The Force, Twins, Twins who torture their parents, Yelling at kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enloeddmedia/pseuds/enloeddmedia
Summary: Ben and Rey are no strangers to parenting, but their brand new twin boys are putting them through the trial of the ages, enough that Ben is sure his father has been exacting revenge from beyond. Can Ben work through his frustration to understand how to best parent his twin boys, especially before it gets him killed?Hop along through the first five years of the twins' life, and maybe send Ben a hug on the trip. He needs it.
Relationships: Finn/Original Character(s), Rey/Ben Solo, Zorii Bliss/Poe Dameron
Series: Striking at Shadows and Related Stories [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656109
Kudos: 7





	1. First Trial: Exhaustion

**Author's Note:**

> It would be best if you have read Striking At Shadows to understand a lot of the characters and references in this short, but if you haven't, there is a spoiler summary below. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Depression, panic attacks, PTSD, post-partum depression
> 
> What you need to know from Striking At Shadows to understand this story (BIG ENORMOUS MAJOR SPOILERS, if you plan to read Striking at any point, you're totally getting spoiled right now, like totally): Nara is a healer from the World Between Worlds who resurrected Ben. Their intimacy brought forth a child that's in a different timeline. This child was "loaned" to Ben in his world when Benny, at the age of 12, was tossed into lava by a "Kylo Ren" made flesh from Ben's cast off alter ego. The child's name is Qui Gon and he basically housed Benny's spirit in his own body for a year until Benny's body healed from death. Benny is left with PTSD from this time, especially triggered by fire and when his father is yelling as he remembers being tortured by Kylo. Benny, as a teen, had major PTSD episodes that caused him to attack his parents and exude an incredible amount of power that nearly killed Ben. He went through therapy and has been fine since.
> 
> Rey learned that Nara is actually her grandmother. Nara's people live on average to about 250 years, so she was alive when Palpatine was young. Palpatine was the father of her son, Uvay, but because Palpatine is a dick and wanted to use the child for experiments, Nara was forced to hide the baby by putting an ancient curse on him that would block all of his Force powers for generations. Rey was broken out of this curse when Ben, as Kylo, touched her for the first time when their dyad activated. Everyone in Nara's line will have the gene for long life, so Rey and Benny, despite their ages, will look like they're in their twenties for decades while Ben is aging at his normal, humanoid rate. 
> 
> Finn ended up marrying Sona, an ex-storm trooper they rescued in their travels. Tarn and Jorn are also ex troopers who became part of Ben's crew. They are a species with long tails, highly flexible skeletons, and can stick to walls. Poe has been piloting Ben's ship (after a fight about it in Striking) and only somewhat recently settled down with Zorii. 
> 
> Ben and Rey have powers in them that hearken back to ancient prophecies. Ben's is the Indigo Star, and it gives him the capability to freeze time and break through space, between worlds. He's not really sure how he does it, and it takes a tremendous toll on his body, but it's what he used to save Benny when the boy died in the lava incident.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins give Ben and Rey way more than they bargained for and push them to the edge as the exhaustion of parenting sets in.

“Okay buddy, Daddy’s going deaf in that ear.” Ben closed his eyes as Han screamed on one shoulder and Uvay chewed on the other. Once little Han found his lungs the day of his birth, he didn’t stop crying. Ben was pretty sure he sleep-cried.

Ben bounced the boys in his arms. “Don’t worry, mommy will be up soon, thank the stars and everything in existence.” Han finally quieted, and just when Ben felt like he could breathe again, a lock of his hair strained against his scalp. “Ah! Ah! Come on, kid! Not this again.” He put Uvay down, who immediately started scrunching his face in prep for a good screaming, and pulled the hair out of Han’s fist. Han broke into wailing screams again, Uvay joining him.

Ben closed his eyes and prayed to everything for strength. “Fine kid, just take the damn hair.” Ben shoved his hair back into the baby’s fist. Han quieted and pulled with all his baby might while Ben picked Uvay back up. Finally, two quiet babies, and he only had to sacrifice some skin, hair, maybe some blood, who knew?

He sat on the rocking chair and endured the hairs that plinked out of his scalp one by one when the door flew open. “Daddy! I’m home!”

Ben sprung out of the rocking chair and shoved two babies in Leia’s arms, losing more hair in the process. “How was school, baby-girl? Tell me later, I’ve been having to pee for two hours.”

Leia scrambled to hold the twins. “Why didn’t you just go?”

“You try putting them down!” he cried as he ran through the hall. After finishing some long overdue business, he washed his hands and then hung his head in the sink, terrified to leave the bathroom ever again. _Come on, pull yourself together, Ben. These precious babies are a gift, you have to be grateful for every scream._

He was trying, really he was, but six weeks of this was wearing him down. Uvay could be put down without losing his shit, but he couldn’t be parted far from Han, so you couldn’t hand off Uvay or put him down unless Han was with him, and Han…HAN…

The baby could NEVER be put down without screaming, not even once he was asleep. He’d wake in a second and flail and howl, wake his brother who would also howl, and Han…HAN…would not calm down for anything once he started.

Ben splashed cold water on his face and looked in the mirror. Damn, he looked like shit lately. He had begun to forget what he looked like before. At least he had Benny as a reminder.

Benny, who worked two jobs _and_ taught Force-sensitives as well as helping them out with the twins. Benny put most of the money he earned right back into the family, keeping them afloat while the babies were still little. Neither Rey nor Ben were in any shape to take on a job so soon, and Rey was still a more desirable hire than Ben was.

Ben dried his face and forced himself out of the bathroom. “Leia? Baby-girl? Where are you?”

“Upstairs! Mom’s up.”

Ben dragged himself up the stairs to find Rey with a baby on each breast. She nodded toward the bed. “Your shift.”

Ben looked down at Leia. “In a bit. Come on, baby-girl, let me make you lunch.”

Leia charged ahead, ponytail bouncing. “I can make my own lunch. And I’m not a baby anymore.”

Ben grabbed her ponytail and spun it in circles. “You’ll always be my baby-girl, no matter how old, and I’m making you lunch. Daddy’s orders.”

#

“How’s school?” Ben grabbed six slices of bread from the container.

Leia waved her fingers over her datapad. “Fine.”

“No trouble?”

“Nah.”

“Kids not bothering you? They bothered Benny a lot. He was a little older, but still.”

“They know better than to bother me.”

That sounded interesting. “How so?”

“Well one kid tried to pick on me, saying I was Kylo’s kid and probably evil, so I showed him how evil I really am.”

Ben stopped spreading the nut butter on the bread, his stomach tightening. “How?”

“I kept notes of all the times he bothered girls and what he did, took pictures, video, sound, everything, and gave it to the school counselor. His parents got called in, other counselors, and he wasn’t allowed to come back into school without a doctor’s note.”

“Holy shit.”

“Another kid called me a freak for having the Force, so I dug up some evidence that he broke their neighbor’s generator and now they’re getting sued.”

Ben dropped the knife. “What the fuck—Leia!”

“What? I told them not to mess with me or I’d ruin their lives. And it worked! No one wants to bother me now.”

“Well the first kid clearly needed an intervention, and you probably did your classmates a favor, but getting someone sued?”

“It was their own stupid fault. They were bragging on a holonet forum, and I just forwarded a screenshot.”

“How do you know how to do all this?!”

“Well while the other girls are messing with hair and makeup, I’m reading law stuff. Sometimes the law is mightier than the lightsaber.”

Ben nodded. “I’m only here now because a lawyer was creative enough to get me probation—”

“Daddy! You’re putting ketchup on the sandwich instead of jelly!”

“What? Ah shit. Guess this is my sandwich.”

Leia growled and stood up. “Let me finish the sandwiches—”

“No no, sit down. I…never take care of you anymore. I’ll make you a sandwich, a good one, with jelly and…not…ketchup.”

“Daddy, you’re just tired. I can make sandwiches. It’s not hard.”

Ben pointed the jelly container at her. “No! I will do this. You just sit there and be daddy’s little girl who…definitely doesn’t go around getting people sued.” He grinned. “That was creative. Better than when I flung a kid against the ceiling.”

“See? And I didn’t have to get kicked out of school!”

Ben squished one side of bread on top of the other and put the plate before her. “You, my little lovely are too smart, just like your grandmother.” He flipped another side of bread. “This is your mother’s, and this one is mine.” Ben bit into it and shuddered from the mixture of sweet and salty-sour. “Wow, this is terrible.”

“Daddy, did you scrape off the ketchup first?”

Ben swallowed. “No.”

“Daddy!” She stood, slid his plate away and pushed Rey’s sandwich toward him. “Eat that and I will make Mommy’s.”

“That’s wasting!”

“You’re too tired. Just eat and take a nap before you put glue in your sandwich.” She cut the bite mark off with a knife. “I’ll leave this for Benny, he eats anything.”

Ben pulled her close. “Hey, Daddy still has to take care of his baby-girl.” He kissed her on the head.

“Then get some sleep because I don’t want ketchup sandwiches.”

#

Ben woke and swore he had only been sleeping ten minutes. He checked the clock to see three hours had passed. “Shit!” He sprung up and could already hear chaos downstairs.

“Well I need your help!” Rey was saying to Leia.

“Mom, I have training and homework, too!”

“The training can wait!”

“You say that every day!”

“I’m up,” Ben said as he lumbered down the stairs. “I’m up.” Two screaming babies were shoved into his arms. “Oh hey, you two. Still at it?”

“They hardly napped!” Rey paced like she was going to rip someone’s face off any second. “And the universe knows I had to sit there and hold them the entire time and not get anything done.”

“I washed the dishes and mopped the floor!” Leia said.

“And spent the rest of your time on the datapad.”

“I was doing research! And why can’t we get a house droid like we used to?”

“We can’t afford it!”

“Alright alright,” Ben said, “I got the two little monsters, you two go have lives.”

Rey pointed her finger. “Don’t call them that! We are lucky we even have them!”

Ben was so tired of this conversation. He couldn’t joke without a continuous guilt trip stemming back to the complications the boys had at birth. Of course he was grateful to have both of his boys, alive and healthy, but sometimes he just needed to take the pressure off. “Fuck’s sake, go take a nap or something.”

“You better curb that attitude right now—”

Leia growled in frustration. “Would you two stop? You do nothing but bite each other’s heads off.”

“It’s a time honored tradition,” Ben said. “I had no head when you were born either—OW!” He reeled from smack upside the head on the Force. “Was that necessary?”

Rey put her hands on her hips. “Well I guess I found your head!”

Benny burst through the front door, tossed his bag full of sweaty clothes onto the couch, and grabbed the sandwich sitting out. “This thing belong to anyone?”

Leia grinned. “Made especially for you.”

Benny shoved half the thing in his mouth at once, chewed twice and winced. “The fuck is this?”

“Benny!” Rey said. “Your mouth!”

Leia put her hands behind her back. “ _Talah_ butter, jelly, and ketchup sandwich.”

Benny chewed twice more. “Pretty good.” He tossed the plate in the sink and shoved the rest of the sandwich in his mouth.

“Benny,” Rey said, “I need you tonight—”

Benny shook his head and swallowed. “Nope, going to shower and then I’m going out tonight.”

“Benny!”

“Mom, I told you a week ago, tonight I’m going out on a date. Remember? No classes today and as soon as I don’t smell terrible I’m out.”

“You did not tell me that!”

He pointed to the digital calendar on the wall. “It’s right there!”

“Well you’re needed here to take care of your family!”

“Mom, what the fuck do you think I’ve been doing?”

“Hey!” Ben said but knew to keep his volume low for Benny. “Watch how you talk to your mother.”

“Dad, give me a fucking break. I work two jobs, teach for hours, then spend the rest of the time helping with the twins. I do nothing _but_ take care of the family, do I not get a break for once?”

Rey waved her hand between herself and Ben. “Do you think _we_ get a break?”

“I’m not the one who decided to have kids! Dad made sure of that.”

“Benny, we are all in this together as a family, and it’s a short time—”

“Mom, I’m going out, end of story.” He headed toward the stairs.

“Don’t you ‘end of story’ me!”

Ben sighed. “Rey, let him go.”

“Ben, he has to—”

“He’s doing plenty, give him a break.”

“What the hell break do WE EVER GET!” she screeched in a manner so unlike herself. The twins started another round of screaming in response. Rey threw her hands up. “Just fucking great! More of this!” She put her hand to her head and seemed like she was about to break apart.

Ben tried bouncing the twins. “Rey—”

She waved her hand. “Leia, you need to help—”

“Mom!” Leia thrust her hands down. “I just told you I have homework and training—”

“THEN DO IT SOME OTHER TIME AND STOP BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS!”

Leia’s eyes widened. Even Ben jumped as well as the twins, who sprung into an even louder crying session. Leia’s little lips quivered and Rey, frightened by her own outburst, covered her face, eyes filling with tears.

“Baby,” she said to Leia, “I’m sorry—” Leia ran and flew out the back door. “Leia! LEIA!” She took a step forward and was flung back onto the couch. The last thing Ben saw of his daughter was her hand falling back down before she ran next door.

He had been on the angry side of Leia’s Force-fling only once and couldn’t believe she did it to her mother.

Rey curled up onto the couch and sobbed into her hands. Ben wanted to hold her, but the twins were trying to outdo one another on the decibel scale. Ben needed to run to his daughter, run to Rey, and quiet the little beasts all at the same time and didn’t know what to do anymore. So he just stood there, tears of frustration and exhaustion at the rims of his eyes.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but eventually the back door opened. Finn jogged in first and grasped Uvay while Sona ran over to the couch to tend to Rey.

“It’s okay,” Finn said, “let me get them. You need a break.”

Ben shook his head. “They cry if they’re apart.” The tears spilled down his cheeks.

“I got two arms. Come on, hand them over.”

Ben nodded and released the twins. When his arms were finally free, he grasped his hair in two handfuls, still not sure what to do with himself.

“I’m fine,” Rey said, face still buried in her arms.

“That is stupid,” Sona said. “You are not fine, neither of you are fine. Why are you always telling us you are fine when you’re not?”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Sona, chill, okay?”

“We’re not supposed to need help with our own babies!” Rey sobbed.

“Ah!” Sona said. “And who helped me when I couldn’t handle one? Who was there every day? It was you, saying we all need help sometimes, especially with little ones.”

“We could have lost them! We should be grateful and happy, not so…so…FRUSTRATED!”

Finn said, “Who says you can’t be both? Come on, you’re both exhausted, maybe depressed too, I don’t know—”

“We’re not supposed to be depressed!”

“That is stupid,” Sona said. “Who cares what you are supposed to be? If you are, you are, so what?”

Finn groaned. “Sona, your bluntness is a bit jarring, okay? Ben, by the stars, will you sit down already? You’re starting to freak me out, you look like you might collapse in the middle of the room.”

Ben supposed he might actually do that. He squeezed in on the other side of Rey and put his arms around her. She sobbed into his chest, clutching his shirt in her hands.

“Leia!” Rey cried. “My baby girl, what did I do? Where is she?”

Sona patted her arm. “She’s with Kyra. She’ll be okay. She’s a strong girl, good warrior. When the two of you are calm, you can make up.”

Tarn and Jorn, with their little ones clinging to their backs, popped their heads in at the back door. “Hey!” Tarn said. “Heard your little ones are eating you alive in here.”

Jorn nodded. “There’s the screamin’ demons now.”

“Isn’t that a blast from the past?”

“Why didn’t you call us?”

“You were there for us when ours wouldn’t stop.”

Rey sucked in a shuddering breath. “Because it shouldn’t be like this! We’re experienced and we should know and we should—we’re supposed—I don’t even know anymore!”

“Listen,” Finn said, looking at Ben and Rey, “you two. Get dressed and get out of here for the rest of the night. You need your sanity more than anything right now.”

Ben shook his head and barely felt his lips. “We don’t have bottles. They’re just breastfed.”

“We have bottles,” Jorn said. “Haven’t used them in a year but a good hot wash will get them up and running. Don’t have a pump though…”

“We got you covered!” came the call behind Tarn and Jorn. Zorii squeezed past them while Poe waved from behind. “Still have my old pump from the girls, don’t ask why, but it’s yours until they’re done with the boob.”

Rey shook her head. “I can’t ask you for that.”

“You’re not asking, I’m telling. How many late night calls did you answer when our oldest was driving us nuts? Don’t even answer that. I’m going to get the pump, Ben’s going to shower because no offense, but you look awful, and the two of you are going to breathe for once tonight.”

Benny flew down the stairs. “You’re all here? Thank the stars. Knock these knuckleheads into shape, will ya? I have a date.” He slid out the front door with a quick wave.

Rey sat up and wiped her eyes. “Go ahead, Ben. Shower’s open.”

Ben looked down at her. “You sure about this? You’re always saying—”

“Maybe I’m not in the best frame of mind to make these decisions, but a break sounds nice right about now.”

Ben nodded. “Okay.”

#

Ben tore into his roasted _skareet_ dinner, which was a far cry from the ketchup sandwich. Rey sipped her wine and set the glass down. “I almost feel human again.”

Ben nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

Rey smiled. “This is nice. I can’t remember the last time I smiled and meant it.”

Ben stuff his mouth and nodded.

“But I feel really bad that we—”

Ben shook his head. _No parenting talk, please? Just for dinner?_

Rey softened. “Okay…okay.”

They ate on in silence, occasionally speaking about how good the food and wine were as well as the restaurant. When they were finished with their dessert, Rey said, “This was the quietest dinner I think we’ve ever had together. Do we have nothing else to talk about _but_ parenting?”

Ben sipped from his cup of tea. “We’re just tired. And we really don’t have a life outside of kids right now.”

“True.”

“Ready to head out?”

Rey sighed. “Do we have to?”

“We…can’t stick everyone else with our kids all night.”

Rey grinned. “Or _can_ we?”

Ben almost smiled. “We…technically _can,_ but we probably shouldn’t.”

Rey hung her head. “Can we just walk for a while then? Not actual Beachwalk, but the path, the quieter one, along the sea? I just…I can’t go back right now. I can’t. I don’t care how horrible that makes me sound.”

Ben took her hand. “It doesn’t make you sound horrible at all, baby.” He forced out a smile. “I think a quiet walk is perfect.”

“I miss this,” Rey said as the breeze carried the scent of the sea and blew a soft mist their way. “We used to walk this way all the time when we had the beach-house.”

Ben, holding her hand, swung his arm. “Those were good times. Miss just heading out in the morning right onto the beach for a swim. Those were the days. Place we have now is better for training though, quieter, more room, less prying eyes questioning our lightsabers.”

“True, but I miss those times.”

“I miss a lot.”

Rey looked at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Ben answered flatly.

Rey sighed. “I’m not. I can’t believe I yelled at Leia like that. I hate how I am lately.”

“We just need help. The twins are fussy, harder when it’s double.”

“It’s not just that. I feel like…it’s harder to recover this time. It’s not like with Leia or Benny. It feels so much harder. I think…the idea that we could have lost them, and it’s like every time I feel frustrated or angry I just feel so guilty, and it just makes everything worse.”

Ben nodded. “I’m not over it. Not any of it.” He stopped and rested his forearms on the handrail, facing the ocean. “Today when I just froze, after what happened with you and Leia, not knowing what to do, who to go to, which to choose. I went right back to that moment…” He took a breath. “Maybe Finn is right. Maybe I am depressed.”

Rey rubbed his back. “But we’re all okay now. There’s no reason to still be upset by it.”

Ben pressed his lips together and swallowed. “But I am. I never…” His eyes filled with tears. “I see it every day. Even with all this going on, with the twins screaming and getting no sleep, I still hear the doctor, see everything that happened in that moment, when I thought my heart would just shatter…” He hung his head in his arms.

“Ben…” Rey rested her head on his back. “I know. Believe me I know. It was so surreal…I don’t think I’m over it myself. Sometimes it feels like a dream and then reality hits and I just panic when I realize how bad it actually got.”

“I thought for sure we were going to lose Han, and all I could think was that it was divine retribution, for killing his namesake, my own father. Would be exactly what I deserved, right?”

“Ben, no…”

“And I’m over there begging my father to forgive me and please give me my son, begging my mother to intervene somehow, begging anyone, ready to give my life if it would just save him. I would have given anything…”

“Thank the Force you didn’t have to.”

Ben picked his head up from his arms, let the sea mist cool his face. “I guess in some ways that’s what makes this harder too. I feel like I’m trying to make up through Han what I did to my father, like I’ve been given a chance to make it right, but somehow I think it’s going to be really hard. Force knows all he does is scream all day, like he needs something we can’t yet give him. Checked out head to toe, nothing physically wrong with him, he’s just so damn unhappy. Unless he’s ripping my hair out.”

Rey snorted into a giggle.

“What’s so funny?”

“He’s only happy when he’s injuring you. Maybe he _is_ your father getting revenge.”

Ben turned and finally broke into a light chuckle himself. He wrapped his arms around Rey and held her to his chest. He sunk his nose into her hair and inhaled her soft and lovely scent.

She sighed. “We have to get through all this, for our kids’ sake, for ours. We’re not doing well right now.”

“No, we’re not. I don’t need to make another ketchup sandwich. I mean, Benny ate it anyway, but still.”

Rey giggled into his shirt, then quieted. “I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I don’t want to bug the gang either, but…”

“We’re…there for each other. We got to let our pride go. Guess it’s not so terrible to be the one who needs help for once. We can’t be the heroes all the time, right? I think one of the hardest things I had to learn when I came back was to accept help from others, that I can’t do it all on my own, that we’re a team and rely on each other for a reason.”

“Yeah…”

Ben squeezed and rocked her in his arms. “Why don’t we rely on the team a little more tonight. Want to go to the coffee shop? Just fucking…sit and be human some more?”

“Maybe.” Rey let go of him and looked around. “Come over here a minute. I want to see something.”

Ben followed her to a darker section of the walk where high bushes had been planted. Rey slipped under the handrail and motioned for him to follow. Brow wrinkled, Ben stepped over and followed her toward a natural cave formed by a section of foliage. “What are we doing here?”

Rey grinned, knelt, and unbuttoned his pants. Ben gasped and looked around. “Rey!” She merely giggled, revealed him to the world, and took him deep into her mouth. As he melted into carnal heaven, he realized he didn’t give half a shit who saw or walked by.

He had felt little desire since the twins were born, but as he sunk his fingers into her silken waves, he realized just how backed up he had gotten. And somehow, all the tension of the past few weeks just disappeared for these few blissful moments.

“Sir? Is everything okay?”

Ben didn’t look behind him, just waved his hand. “Jedi business, return to your walk.”

He heard the dying murmur behind him, “Jedi business apparently, let’s keep walking.”

#

Ben and Rey giggled as they both tried to enter the coffee shop at once. Rey fell back against the outside doorway and laughed into the sky while Ben snorted beside her.

“You were so loud!” she said and tipped her head back.

“It’s been over a month.” Ben kissed the top of her cleavage.

“When the cop asked if we’d heard any strange screaming, I thought I was going to pass out! And then you start limping and said you sprained your ankle, by the stars I nearly fell over!”

Ben laughed and kissed her neck. “It feels good to laugh again. Like I’d almost forgotten how.”

Rey kissed the top of his head. “It does. I almost forget how good we are as a couple when we’re not being bombarded.”

“Mmmm.” He breathed into her neck. “Come on. One cup and then back to torture.”

“Don’t call it torture!” At least she said it in a jovial manner.

Ben growled and held the door open for her. Just as they found a table, he heard a deep voice. “The fuck, are the two of you stalking me?”

Ben looked over to see Benny with an incredulous scowl on his face, pretty girl opposite him. “Oh hey.”

“What, you want me home already? Had to come all the way out here personally?”

Ben sighed. “If we wanted you that badly we would have just called your comm.”

“Like I didn’t already set that sucker to silent the moment I left the house.” Benny growled. “What do you want?”

Rey said, “We _just_ came here for a drink ourselves, weren’t after you at all.”

The blue-eyed girl smiled. “Is that your brother and sister, Ben?”

Ben felt his cheeks warm. With the way he felt lately, brother would have been the last mistaken identity he’d expected.

“My parents,” Benny groaned.

“Oh! Why don’t you come sit with us?”

Benny waved his hands and whined. “Nooooo!”

Ben held his hand up. “Thank you, but you two enjoy yourselves.”

The girl pulled chairs from the nearby table. “I insist, Mr. and Mrs. Solo. I’m Nishiri by the way. I’d love to meet Ben’s family. I hear you’re from a famous Jedi lineage.”

The girl’s eyes pleaded with them to stay. Benny’s assured them that if they sat in those chairs he’d eat them alive in their sleep. Ben glanced at Rey and knew they didn’t need to discuss it.

Ben patted Benny’s shoulder. “We were getting our drinks to go anyway, we got the twins waiting for us at home with some babysitters who are probably tired of hearing them scream already. Ben, just wanted to say how much we appreciate everything you’re doing for the family. I know it’s hard working two jobs to take care of us and taking care of students and helping out with Leia and the twins. It’s a lot for a young man to put on his shoulders, but you do it without asking for a thing. You deserve to have a nice night out with your girl here, so enjoy yourselves, both of you. We’ll see you in the morning, Ben. Nice meeting you, Nishiri.”

The snarl had completely washed from Benny’s face, replaced by sweet, appreciative eyes. “Yeah, um, okay. Night Dad. Mom.”

“Night, Ben.” Rey linked arms with her husband. “Have a great night, you deserve it. Nice to meet you, Nishiri. I’m sure we’ll meet again soon when things get a little quieter at home.”

As Ben and Rey ordered their drinks to go, Nishiri in the back gasped. “Ben! You are _such_ a family man! You’re even taking care of your parents and your brothers and sister? That is _so_ sweet!”

“Well, you know…” Ben could hear Benny stretch as if it was no big deal. “…a good man takes care of his family, protects them, provides for them. I don’t think there’s anyone around who can get past my lightsaber—and you know my family never goes hungry, between teaching at the self defense studio and training Chandrilian soldiers…”

#

“That was sweet of you,” Rey said after drinking the remnants of her tea. “I think you really boosted Benny’s morale there.”

Ben swung Rey’s hand as they stepped onto the walk to their house. “He deserves it. He’s been good to us.”

“I feel terrible I got on his case, and Leia’s especially. They’re such good kids.”

“They are. And we’ll make it up to them.”

“I’ll talk to Leia if she’s still up. If not, first thing in the morning. I was so mean to her.”

“Well, she walloped you in return, that’s for sure.”

“She’s a real pistol when you get her mad.”

“No idea _where_ she gets it from.”

Rey smacked Ben’s stomach, and he grinned. Then he took a breath as he slowed along the walk. “I’ve been thinking maybe I should see that counselor again, like when we went after Benny had his issues? I mean, I’m having a great time tonight, but…I’m standing here and I don’t want to go any further. Like I’m terrified of walking into my own home. And then I think about that and feel so shitty for it, knowing what could have been?” He put his fingertips to his head, feeling it all come back after it had been gone for a few blissful hours.

Rey hugged his arm. “That’s a good idea. Maybe something we both need. Perhaps between our friends giving us a hand and the counselors helping us sort things out, we’ll get through this a little better.”

“To think I spent so much time alone when I was younger, feeling it was better that way. But if I’d been alone now, without you, without them, I don’t think I’d get through. We’re fortunate to have all we do, to have each other, when it could have gone so much worse.”

“Then we do what we have to do. Our kids need sane parents, not ones with stupid senses of pride keeping them from getting the help they need. I know I was the biggest fiend in that one, thinking I should have been better. Sona, for all her ridiculousness, was right. If we’re depressed, then we’re depressed, and we need help with it.”

Ben squeezed her hand. “Yeah…come on. Can’t stare at the front door all night, no matter how tempting.”

“Not to mention my boobs are getting a bit achy.”

“They look incredible by the way, just needed to get that out before things get crazy again.”

“Well enjoy them now because this is the last batch of children I’m having, thank you very much.”

“No, thank _you_.”

The front door opened to blissful silence. Ben and Rey tiptoed in and saw Tarn and Jorn with the twins asleep in their arms.

“Hey,” Ben whispered. “Thanks so much for this.”

“No problem at all. They were a handful at first, but we put them in the stroller and that seemed to settle them down.”

“You kidding me? We tried the stroller before, they just flipped out. They don’t like to be out of our arms.”

“Did you try running them up and down the block?”

Ben pursed his lips. “No.”

“Seems your twins have a need for speed. Quieted them right down.”

“Huh, good to know. Well, let me get them from you so you can finally get home.”

“Just show us where you want them,” Tarn said. “Less handling the better.”

“When did they eat?” Rey asked. “I’m bursting at the seams.”

“Bout an hour ago.”

“I better pump again then.”

“I’ll lay down with them,” Ben said. “You do what you got to do. Tarn, Jorn, can’t tell you how much we appreciate this. Where’s your little ones?”

“Asleep at home, Finn keeping guard, he’s good at that.”

“That he is. Come on upstairs. I think you two are acrobatic enough to put them down without stirring them.”

Jorn snorted. “Our special skills at work once more. By the way, does Han have a thing for pulling hair?”

“Yeah, I don’t expect to have much left in a year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While we already had a "crazy times after birth" story with Welcome Baby Leia, I wanted to showcase something a bit darker. I experienced post-partum depression myself, but I also wanted to expand upon the fact that men could feel post-partum depression also. I wish we could all have a crew like his that can jump in and help out. 
> 
> PS Rey totally apologized to Leia, I just really had nowhere to put it.


	2. Second Trial: Mischief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is challenged by the antics of the twins.

Ben woke at his usual hour, with a sunbeam glaring through the curtains into his eyes. The past ten months had been a blur, but the changes they made, as well as counseling, smoothed things out. Rey returned to work, leaving Ben with the twins for the morning. Thankfully, they started sleeping in their own crib by five months of age, so his sleep was typically restful.

Uvay was already sitting up, quiet, and waving his hands, always content with himself. The twins were usually up before him, and if the sunbeam didn’t get Ben, Han’s banging and antics usually did.

Ben stared at the crib. The quiet, quiet crib. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. His stomach curled into a siphoning knot. “Han? HAN?!”

Ben sprung out of bed and checked the floor. No baby. The door was closed, so he couldn’t have escaped. Ben flipped all blankets, looked under the bed, in the closet, panic pumping pure adrenaline through his veins as he checked the bathroom.

No baby.

Ben stretched himself out on the Force, searching for his infant son who had mastered crawling to a devilish degree. His heart stopped.

Ben flung open the window and stretched his arm out, freezing his infant son as he skirted across the packed earth of the training grounds in the back. “How in the holy fucking shit did you get out there?!” He unlocked the screen, tossed it aside, and climbed out the window. The Force softened his landing as he hit the ground, and he dashed after the giggling baby who was really trying to fight his way out of Ben’s grip.

Ben scooped up little hazel-eyed, brown-haired Han and pressed the baby against his chest, panic in his body trying its best to subside. He looked at the giggling little beastie and shook his head. “How? How the hell did you get out here?” Han screeched and swatted Ben on the nose. “Don’t _ever_ go outside like that again, you hear me? It’s dangerous. Whatever you did. However you did it.”

Ben stared at the back door. How exactly did Han get out? Neither baby was granted access to the sliding door. Odd. Would RT-47, their new housekeeping droid, have let the boy out?

Ben signaled at the back door, but it didn’t respond. Using the Force, he shoved the door open and found the droid slumped over, its error lights flashing. Ben wished he had hooked his lightsaber. He expanded his energy through the house, searching. No one was there that shouldn’t have been, and nothing else was out of place.

Ben shook his head. “How in the hell did this happen?”

Han laughed hard and snagged one of Ben’s locks of hair. With his scalp being half yanked out, he sighed. “Oh boy. You are a troublemaker.”

#

Ben jogged behind the twins’ stroller, bare chest gleaming in the morning sun. Since Tarn and Jorn had revealed the secret of keeping the twins calm, Ben took them on a run every morning, sometimes in the evening if no one else could fit in the three or four trips needed per day. Honestly, he didn’t care. He got in his workout and didn’t have to hear them scream.

Where a stroller wouldn’t suffice, Ben bought a backpack that seated both boys beside one another. The twins loved it, and it left Ben’s hands free to tend to the training grounds while Han ripped his hair out.

Ben stopped at the back door and guzzled an entire bottle of water, spilling the last remnants down his chest to cool off. Moments later he heard a thump and saw Han roll across the patio. He spit out his mouthful of water. “HAN!”

He picked up the screaming ten-month-old and checked him over. Little red spot, but otherwise okay. He examined the straps of the stroller, sure he had connected them right. Uvay looked on, calm as always, his straps perfectly fine. Han’s were completely undone, as if an adult’s hands had worked the four clips out of place.

Ben shook his head. He knew he didn’t forget to strap the baby in. Han would have squirmed out in three seconds if he had. So odd. He brought Han inside and put him in the playpen before going out to retrieve Uvay. Both twins screamed over this sudden distance and only stopped when together again, although Han didn’t look like he was having this whole playpen thing.

“Oh just chill for two seconds,” Ben said at Han’s incessant squawks. “Got to put the fucking stroller away, you microscopic taskmaster.” Ben put his water bottle and lightsaber on the counter and headed to the back porch. When he returned inside, he readied the backpack and turned to the playpen.

His heart stopped cold. Han had Ben’s lightsaber, the ignition chamber pointed right into his little face. Ben yanked it on the Force and drew it back to himself, Han screaming in protest. “What in the actual fuck?!”

Ben knelt and stared at the boys. He regarded Han first. “Can’t be you, you’re not powerful enough in the Force to be doing this. And you.” He turned to quiet Uvay. “This is a little too sophisticated for you.” The droid was still busted, so it wasn’t RT-47. Ben wondered if an unwelcome Force-ghost was playing tricks on him, but he couldn’t imagine anyone who would want to make his life a living hell in this manner. Even Uncle Luke would never put a baby’s life in danger.

Ben sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I have to get lunch ready.” He lifted both boys on the Force, Han turning from screaming protest to joyful giggles, and placed them in the backpack. He strapped them in, boosted it onto his back, and winced as Han grabbed his hair. “Oh if only your mother would let me cut this.”

#

“I’m telling you, he got out somehow.”

Rey snorted as she set her tool bag down. “Are you sure you weren’t dreaming?”

“Rey, I’m telling you, I woke up, he was gone, and I found him in the yard.”

“And RT-47?”

“Just konked out, near the back door but malfunctioning. I haven’t even had time to check him over. Not to mention the bedroom door and the back door weren’t working right, had to replace the relay board on both.”

“So a baby who can’t reach door signal pads, can’t climb out of his crib, can’t even walk, managed to escape the house without you sensing a thing?”

Ben stared at her, then nodded. “Yeah, that’s about right.”

“You’re hallucinating.”

“I’m _not_!”

“Well then I’m about to be angrier with you because that means while our babies were under your care, one of them escaped to the backyard with poisonous plants and could have eaten rocks and—”

“Okay okay, maybe I dreamed it…” There was no fucking way he dreamed it. Nor was he about to tell her about the straps and lightsaber. Clearly he was in enough trouble already without her thinking him a complete failure as a parent.

Rey grabbed a glass from the cabinet. “You still taking those meds?”

“No, the doctor took me off two months ago, remember?”

“Well maybe you need to start again.”

Ben groaned. “They were for depression, not hallucinations, and I didn’t—oh forget it.”

Rey kissed his arm on the way to the refrigerator. “Maybe you need to get out more. I can see if they’ll let me switch some shifts around, maybe you can get a job, get you around some adults for a while.”

“First of all, I don’t like other adults except the few we have around here. Second, Chandrila still considers me a stain upon their good name. If you can find me a job working in the catacombs of some dark, dank dungeon with no human contact, then by all means.”

“You could always work that dungeon we went to that time.”

Ben just looked at her, not even dignifying that with an answer.

“Well I just think something away from the twins will do you some good.”

“Rey, I’m fine. We go out for a run every morning, then they ride in the backpack while I do stuff, sometimes I even do some training while they hang out in there. Han loves it. Loves to move.”

“Well at least they sleep without constant adult contact now. Bout another hour you think?”

“Yes.” Ben put his arms around her from behind. “So we have a nice chunk of time to ourselves.” The back door opened and closed. Ben sighed. “Or not.”

“Hey Leia,” Rey said. “School let out early?”

No answer.

“Leia? Sweet-girl?”

Silence.

Ben reached out on the Force and felt Rey do the same, and he felt her alarm as his blared inside of him. Rey was a little faster than him, flinging open the yet again busted door, and caught Han on the Force just as he was about to topple off the patio. She yanked him into her arms and heaved in panic. “What the hell was he doing out there?!”

Ben shook his head. “It was him again. See?! I told you!”

“A baby can’t get out on his own! He can’t reach any door sensors, and it’s not set with his biometrics! Who the hell let him out? Where’s Uvay?”

Ben ran up the stairs. Uvay was awake, quiet as usual, but awake. Ben picked him up. “Tell me something, kid. Why do you scream when you’re away from your brother except when he’s sneaking around the house?”

#

_ Benny _

Benny Solo sat fiddling with his comm projections, researching what kind of jewelry said ‘I love you but not quite enough to marry you yet’ and was still within his budget. He was tired, but tonight’s venture was a worthy cause. At least the research would keep him up, especially at these prices. Maybe he could get a better deal outside Hanna City.

Then he felt it. _Hm, strong, sharp, adept. This is a very narrowed use of Force, no brute strength at all. Stealthy, cunning, yet surprisingly simplistic._ His parents’ bedroom door slid open. And there he was, little Han, crawling through the doorway with the cutest and most evil little grin on his face.

“Hello there.”

Han looked up in shock, then quickly started crawling for the stairs. Benny had to admire the baby’s persistence. He lifted Han up on the Force and snickered as the little bugger wailed.

Ben was at the doorway in a flash, Rey popping up beneath his raised arm. “What’s going on?” Ben asked.

Benny floated Han into his father’s arms. “Your prison escapee.”

“Seriously?” Rey said. “How?”

Benny stood. “For that, we go to the camera feed.” He flicked through screens on his comm projection and tapped at the square showing his parents’ room. Lit in green, it showed the babies shifting, rolling, and adjusting, his parents doing the same. Then one baby sits up. The other follows suit, and it almost looks like they’re having a baby-conversation. One lifts his hands and up goes the other over the crib bars and onto the ground.

“Son of a bitch,” Ben said.

What is now clearly Han scoots to the door, and Uvay lifts his hands again. The door slides open, and out Han goes.

“You can’t be serious,” Rey said. “You and Leia never did anything like this.”

Benny closed his projection. “It’s fascinating, the Force energy signature, like nothing I’ve ever felt. It’s so light and stealthy, yet very clear on what it’s supposed to do. Instead of flinging everything in the room like I used to do, Uvay must be tapping into things, figuring out how they work, and all to basically get Han off and running on his escapades.”

Ben said, “So Han’s the ringleader. I knew it.”

Rey took the baby. “You don’t know anything. They’re babies! Han can’t be any sort of ringleader, that’s ridiculous.”

“And yet he’s getting Uvay to help him escape, all the way into the backyard.”

Rey’s shoulders sunk. “Oh Ben, what are we doing to do? Never sleep again?”

Benny put his finger up. “Might I suggest a cage?”

“We’re not caging your brothers!”

“Hey, you told me you took everything out of my room when I was a baby so I’d stop throwing stuff _and_ you nailed my crib to the floor.”

“But that wasn’t a cage!”

“Leashes?” Ben said.

“BEN!”

Benny shook his head. “Nah, Uvay will figure out how to get them off.”

“You two are the worst! We’re not caging or leashing our babies!”

Leia rubbed her eyes as her door slid open. “What’s going on?”

“Uvay’s using the Force to let Han out of the house, we’re trying to figure out what to do with them to keep Han from escaping.”

Benny snorted. “And apparently cages and leashes are _so_ wrong.”

“Duh,” Leia said, “of course they are. That’s not going to hold them. You need a holos field.”

Ben shook his head. “A what?”

“Daddy, all that time you spent with great-grandma Nara and you never read the orange books?”

Ben opened his mouth to say he was busy and then decided that was a conversation that didn’t need to happen.

“A holos field uses the Force to create a harmless but impenetrable field, and there are certain things you can do so if someone touches it, it creates an illusion. So like if you had one over the crib, you could make it so Han thinks he actually did get outside and they’d stop trying to escape and stuff.”

Benny crossed his arms. “I’m with squirt.”

“Shut up,” Leia said and smacked his arm.

Ben nodded. “Well I’m with Leia, too. It’s a cage, but not a cage.”

Rey sighed. “Probably our only hope unless we all take shifts guarding the room.”

“Nah, Force-cage is better.”

“Yeah, probably.”

#

If only that was the extent of the twins’ antics as time went on.

_Age 1 1/2_ —Ben woke feeling abnormally cold. He opened his eyes to see the twins standing in their crib saying, “No! No!” The bedroom window was wide open, screen missing in action, and snowflakes from the overnight storm blanketed the rug, the dresser, and part of the crib.

Ben put his hand to his head. “Really, guys?”

Rey shoved Ben. “Turn up the heat, cold in here.” She yanked the blanket over her head.

_Age 1 1/2_ —Ben trudged down the stairs after another restless night with two giggling and sleepless twins. In the kitchen, poor RT-47 lay slumped over the sink, error lights flashing. “Uvay! This is the eighth time you blew up RT-47, knock it off!” Ben dragged the droid to the corner. “Gotta do the fucking dishes myself again.”

_Ages 2_ —Ben didn’t usually wake up feeling so damn sweaty, but his head was drenched. He sat up and felt the most uncomfortable feeling in the world as water seeped into his underpants. He used the Force to flick on the light only to see a steady stream of water floating through the air from the bathroom and pouring onto his pillow. Two giggling toddlers, one with his hand out, bounced in their crib.

Ben glared at his sons. “Really guys?”

Rey gasped awake. “Tell me you didn’t piss the bed!”

Ben sighed. “No human could piss this much and live, dear.”

_Age 2 1/2_ —One calm, restful, weekend morning, Ben woke to see it was later than the twins usually got them up by jumping all over them. Rey still snored next to him. It was otherwise quiet, and the twins’ junior bed was empty.

“Oh shit.”

Ben raced down the stairs and slipped down the last two, leaving a few bruises on his back he’d feel later. The twins sat quietly on the floor, looking up at him with sweet innocence in their big hazel eyes. Surrounding them, every piece of furniture was turned upside down, including poor RT-47 who twitched and continued to spew out error codes.

Ben covered his face. “Are you kidding? Are you fucking kidding me?”

_Age 3_ —Ben growled as he stomped toward the back door, unable to ignore the fifty signals. Finn, Sona, Poe, Zorii, Tarn, and Jorn were standing there, looking terribly displeased to say the least. Dangling by their shirts from Finn’s and Sona’s hands were Han and Uvay.

“Missing someone?” Finn asked.

Ben grabbed his hair and roared at the sky. “They were playing their room two minutes ago!”

They shoved the twins into Ben’s arms. “Well in those—” Finn put up finger quotes. “—two minutes, they flung rocks through every one of our windows.”

Ben’s mouth opened and closed as he fought for words. “They can’t be strong enough to throw rocks that hard!”

“No, but I bet Uvay’s powers are.”

“Besides,” Poe said, holding out his hand, “we don’t think the local vandals would have sent these.”

Ben felt sick as he forced himself to look into Poe’s hand. The rocks all had smiley faces drawn in crayon. One had a lightsaber. He looked at the two monsters in his arms. “Really guys?” He couldn’t even look at his friends. “Just…send me the bill. Fuck!”

Eventually, Uvay got the message that his behaviors and poor use of his Force powers would only get him punished. Han, on the other hand…HAN!

_Age 3 1/2_ —Ben raced outside when he saw that Uvay had escaped to the patio. The little boy was sitting rather calm and still, which was a terrible sign. “Uvay, where is your brother?”

Ben heard “CATCH!” and fell forward to the floor from a painful crack to his head. He picked his face up out of the potting soil and grasped the broken pieces of pottery surrounding him. Hearing a mischievous giggle behind him, he turned toward the patio overhang to see Han jumping up and down from high above.

“You missed, Daddy! Ha ha!”

When Rey came home, she set her tool bag down slowly and scratched her cheek. “Um…what did I miss?”

Ben sat atop the upended playpen that trapped both twins inside while he rubbed a healing tech over his head wound. Through clenched teeth he asked, “Think you can take the twins for a while?”

_Also age 3 1/2_ —Ben had collapsed on the couch once Benny took over care of the twins and only took half a minute to fall asleep.

“DADDY!” he heard Han scream. Before Ben could open his eyes, he heard, “Look Daddy, I found ants!”

By the time Ben’s eyes opened, all he saw was the upside down jar and little dots racing all over his chest. He sprung up and batted at the itchy specks. “HAAAN!”

Benny raced into the house. “Damnit, Han! I told you to leave them outside!”

Han pointed. “But Daddy likes ants—”

“I DO NOT LIKE ANTS!” Ben roared and flung off his shirt.

_Again, age 3 1/2_ —Ben opened the back door to see Jorn standing there, Han dangling from the man’s tail.

Jorn tapped his foot. “Your hellspawn got at my plants! Those were special imports from our home planet.”

Han held out a batch of herbs, their roots dusted with soil. “Happy birthday!”

Ben put his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “Haaa-aa-aaan,” he sobbed in frustration.

_Age 3 1/2 was a bad time_ —Ben never wanted to open his back door ever again. Poe and Zorii stood with smiles on their faces. “Heyyyy,” Poe said, “Ben, pal of mine, buddy of mine, remember when our house used to be white?”

At their feet sat Han splattered head to toe in black paint. He rubbed some of it off on the patio floor then put his hands up with a huge smile. “Dark side!”

Ben drooped against the door frame. “Haaaaaan!”

Zorii said, “Send the bill to the usual address?”

Ben sighed. “If I let you kick my ass, will you let this all go?”

Poe looked at Zorii. “I think we should consider his offer—”

Zorii turned aside, heading back to her house. “Unless it’s at that little dungeon again, forget it.”

Poe looked at Ben. Ben looked at Poe. Both shook their heads. “Nah, nah, better not, nah.”

Ben looked down to black foot and handprints leading into the house. “Ah fuck, HAAAN!”

#

_Age 4, family outing at Beachwalk. What could go wrong?_

Ben swung Han by his hands over the rush of ocean water from the crashing wave. Han cackled and squealed, kicking at the foamy water while Ben lowered his stance to keep his balance.

“In!” Han cried. “I wanna go in! I wanna go swimming!”

“Water’s too rough today, buddy. Gotta stay on the shore.”

Ben put Han down, who immediately ran toward the waves. “Go swimming!”

The next wave flattened the kid who whooshed onto the shore. Ben took a moment before he lifted his son up, feeling the only way to teach the kid a lesson was to let him get pummeled a little. Ben finally grabbed Han’s hand and pulled the coughing kid out of the water.

Enormous smile on Han’s face. “Again!” Cough. “I wanna do it again!”

“Maybe you should go make sandcastles with your brother.” Ben grabbed his squirming body under one arm.

“Castles are boring! I wanna jump in the waves.”

Ben groaned and plopped Han down next to Uvay. Just as Ben sat, Han was back up on his feet running toward the waves. “Damnit, come on…” Ben used the Force to drag the kid across the sand back over to him, Han giggling and screaming the entire time. “How’s the castle, Uvay?”

Uvay waved his hands as rivulets of sand flowed from the ground. “I need something to make it pretty but I don’t know what.”

“How about some shells?”

“I already have shells. I need something else.”

Nishiri, Benny’s longtime girlfriend, giggled on the blanket. “The boys are so cute, Mr. Solo.”

“Please, Ben. And they’re only cute from afar. You’ll see, by the end of the day you’ll decide to never have children. They’re better than Fert-stop.”

Nishiri laughed. “Now I know where Ben Jr. gets his humor from. Is he okay out there? Those waves look so strong.”

“Ah, he’s fine. Grew up on the beach. He loves this shit. Rougher the better. Nothing a little Force can’t help with if need be.”

Rey finally returned with Leia. Rey removed her beach coverup, and damn that new bikini hugged her in just the right places. Ben whistled.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Rey said. “Figured if we were going to get Leia a new swimsuit, might as well treat myself.”

“Ah, I haven’t punched a guy for looking at my wife in ages, I can’t wait!”

Rey lightly smacked his arm and lay down on the beach blanket. “By the way, I bought my mean, macho man a _safronia_ fruit gel.”

“Awww, thank you, baby.” He grabbed her hand and kissed it.

Leia took off her coverup, and the world came to a bleeding, horrifying stop. She, his fifteen-year-old daughter, was also wearing a bikini.

“Oh hell no,” Ben said, “no no no no no.”

“What?” Leia said.

“Put some clothes on right now!”

“Daddy, it’s the beach. Besides, Mom helped me pick it out.”

“REY!”

“Oh shut up,” Rey said. “She’s a big girl, and it looks cute on her.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” Ben glared at the males gawking in their direction. “THE HELL YOU LOOKING AT?!” The boys whipped their heads in various directions, only occasionally peeking. “Fucking hell, you see? You see? Salivating at my precious little baby-girl, Rey, this is all your fault—”

“Ben!” Nishiri grabbed Ben’s arm. “The baby!”

Han charged right for the base of a nasty wave and disappeared beneath its curling violence. Ben sprung to his feet and thrust out his hand, grasping the tumbling boy on the Force and whipping him back up into the air. The little kid coughed then laughed. “Again! Again!”

Nishiri gasped and put her hands to her heart. “By the stars—if you didn’t have those powers—”

“It’s okay,” Rey said, sitting up. “You’ll get used to it.”

Ben drew Han over to him, holding the boy upside down. “What did I tell you?!”

“Again! Again!”

“No!” Ben plopped him down next to his brother. “You are going to sit right here and play with your brother and not move—oh Uvay, damnit, come on!” Ben found his fruit gel on top of the castle.

Uvay smiled. “Now it looks pretty!”

Ben looked at Nishiri. “Better than Fert-stop, I’m telling you.”

The young woman chuckled then clasped her hands and held them to her lips. “Oh my stars, here he comes.”

Benny strode out of the ocean, whipped his sopping wet hair back and ran his fingers through it. Women and a few men on the beach cast their eyes in his son’s direction, but his eyes locked only on one. Nishiri stood up and ran to him, leaping into his arms, his muscles huge as he lifted her off the ground.

Rey nudged Ben. “She is in _love_ with him.”

“And he with her. What do you think? Will he ask her before we head back up to space?”

“He better; I’ll smack him if he doesn’t.”

#

Han climbed up on the back of a bench, leapt off of that, and dove in and out of people. “I want an Ewok and a Wookiee and a lightsaber and poppettes and flatbread and a custard and a fruit gel…”

The boy went on and on while Ben tried to keep his eye on the kid. In ten seconds he would have to just keep him hoisted on the Force and float him on Beachwalk.

Han grabbed the handrail and hoisted himself up. “And I wanna play games and hit the bottle with a ball and—” He tipped over the top of the handrail, but Ben caught him, floating him over to the family group once again.

“What did I tell you? Stay here or we’re going home!”

Han’s eyes widened at the arcade. “I WANNA PLAY GAMES! GAMES GAMES GAMES!”

Benny groaned. “Can I just dunk him over and over in the ocean until he shuts up?”

“Benny!” Rey hit him upside the head with the Force.

Ben shrugged. “Who am I to stop you?”

“BEN!” He got a good wallop for that one.

Ben grunted. “Let’s just take the boys in the arcade before this kid shatters my brain.”

“Hey,” Leia said, “Mom, can we go look at the dress shop?”

Rey brightened. “Oooh, yeah, Nishiri, want to come? Girl gathering at the dress shop?”

Nishiri looked back and forth from Rey to Benny. “Oh, I don’t know.”

Benny waved her off. “Go ahead, have fun with my mom and sister—hey, give me your comm.” She held out her wrist, and he placed his bracelet to hers. After a few swipes, he pulled back. “Buy yourself something nice.”

Nishiri swiped at her comm projection and gasped. “Ben! I can’t!”

“Sure you can.” Benny slid his fingers into her hair, his giant palm cupping her face, and kissed her. “Go find something pretty so you can show me later.” Nishiri touched his cheek, dopey eyes on her smiling face, and had to be pulled away by Leia.

Ben sighed. Those two were ridiculously molten in love while Rey kept smacking Ben upside the head. Life was not fair.

“THIS ONE THIS ONE THIS ONE!” Han screamed as he yanked the controls on TIE Fighters.

Ben groaned. “Han, this is a little too advanced for you.”

“Fly the ship and blow up the bad guys and blow up their ship and punch their ship!”

Benny rolled his eyes. “Fuck’s sake, Dad, just let him play. Maybe he’ll shut up for once.”

Ben waved his comm over the payment reader. “Fine, you just watch Uvay then.”

“Lot easier than this one.”

“Alright.” Ben hopped into the other seat. “Here’s how the controls work…” He went through the standard instructions, getting more excited as time went on. “…and we have to shoot all those ships, blow those pieces of junk OUT OF THE SKY—”

“Dad!” Benny said. “Dial it back a little. Starting to creep me out.”

Ben cleared his throat. “Old habit. Okay, ready Han?” The boy was quiet, eyes glued to the screen, hands gripping the controls. It was the first time Ben had seen the child quiet unless he was doing something wrong. “Ready? Go!”

Ben started out slow, not completely decimating his four year old in points just yet. Han yanked at the controls and pressed the firing buttons, determined eyes flitting about the screen, furrowed brow. Ben knew this game was still a little too advanced for the boy, but the kid had wanted to play.

And then he saw Han’s score creep up. Fast. With one eye on his game, Ben peered over and couldn’t believe how responsive the little kid was against the enemy ships. He wasn’t nearing Ben’s score, but he’d never seen a first timer get such impressive points.

AND HE WAS QUIET!

“Hey Benny!” Ben nodded toward Han’s screen. “Check it out.”

Benny leaned in. “Holy shit, kid’s good! And he’s having so much fun—ah fuck, where’s Uvay? UVAY!”

Ben sighed. “Benny, really?”

“I’ll find him, can’t be too far—hey! Where’d you get all those? Stop robbing the crane machine! Little booger.”

As Benny rushed off to deal some damage to the sneaky twin, Han’s game finally ended. The boy’s eyes grew wide, mouth huge. “AGAIN! AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN! I wanna win at TIE Fighters! TIE FIGHTERS!”

Ben covered one shattered eardrum and swiped the payment reader again. Anything to keep this kid quiet and in one place.

#

As dusk descended over Beachwalk, the heat of the day blown by the cool mist of the night, the Solo family and special guest walked the last length. Han jumped around constantly, and Ben wondered what he fed the kid that gave him so much energy.

“And I played TIE Fighters and I fought the fighters and blew up their ship and then their ship was blown up and I shot them and then I flew the ship and went all over the place and blew up that and—”

Finally, it was dark enough for the Ferris Wheel to light up in a rainbow of swirling colors that illuminated the ‘Walk. Han gasped, eyes growing huge, and he jumped up and down like the world was his personal trampoline. “That! I wanna go on that and ride to the top and fly off and shoot at bad guys!”

“Not that kind of ride,” Ben said.

“No Ferris Wheel,” Rey said. “I don’t like how open it is, not with the twins.”

Her fears were well founded. Ben couldn’t imagine one of his little nutbaskets on that thing.

“THE TOP THE TOP THE TOP!” Han bounced up and down, and Ben was getting a headache.

Leia pushed Benny. “Why don’t you and Nishiri go? You can slobber all over each other when you get to the top.”

Benny pointed. “Don’t think I won’t!”

Nishiri laughed. “Ben!”

Rey shook her head. “I don’t know about rides with the twins. Han can’t sit still, and Uvay will break everything.”

“So why should we suffer?” Leia asked.

“We’re here as a family.”

“Duh, we went shopping and left the guys in the arcade.”

“That…shoosh.”

While everyone argued about what to do next, Ben took a breath and enjoyed the momentary peace and quiet otherwise. Nothing beat Beachwalk, and it had been so long since they’d gone. The new house wasn’t as close as the beach-house had been and…

Peace and quiet.

Quiet.

Ben looked down and found absolutely no Han. “OH SHIT! HAN!”

“Ben!” Rey shrieked. “Weren’t you watching him?!”

“Sorry I breathed for ten seconds—HAN?!”

Benny spread his hands and reached out on the Force before anyone else did. “Oh shit—HAN!” He shot out both hands, bringing the Ferris Wheel to a halt. Dangling from one of the seats halfway to the top was Han, laughing and kicking away.

Rey screamed. “HAN! BABY!”

Ben reached out his energy and grabbed hold of Han. “I got him—HAN! Let go right now, I’ll bring you down!”

“No! I’m gonna ride the big wheel!”

“No you are NOT, now let go or I’m yanking you off!”

“Ow, my hand’s stuck!”

Benny strained with holding the ride. “He’s full of shit.”

“But what if he’s not?” Leia said. “His hand really is in the hinge there.”

Ben gave him a tug regardless.

“OW! Daddy my hand’s stuck! Let me go!”

Rey stormed forward. “Hold him still. I’ll get him down.”

Leia chased after her. “I’ll explain to the ride droid.”

Nishiri rubbed her arms. “How’s your mom going to get him back down?”

Benny released his grip on the wheel that stopped fighting him once the droid shut it off and provided backup to Ben’s grip on Han. “Oh, you know, she’ll just climb up there and get him.”

“Ben, I’m serious!”

“So am I. Look.”

Despite protests from a squawking droid. Rey hoisted herself into the girders, hopping along, swinging from platform to platform, leaping on the Force when needed, and ended dangling upside down to free Han.

Nishiri gasped. “Wow, she’s so acrobatic! Your family is incredible.”

“My mom used to scavenge wrecked ships for parts. If she wasn’t so mad right now, she’d probably be having fun.”

Ben sighed. “I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?”

“If I were you I’d start running now.”

A moan and screech of metal as Rey held her hand to the hinge trapping Han, the mechanism bending open. Han yanked his hand out and shook it before Rey snagged him in a clutching grip. Just as nimble as her ascent, Rey climbed down with Han cheering and bouncing in her arms, asking Mommy to climb again and again.

Benny relaxed his arms as did Ben. His son patted him on the shoulder. “We got him, Dad. Now’s your chance. Run.”

Ben seriously considered it until he saw Rey charging toward him. She shoved Han into his arms and glared. “How hard is it to watch your own child?!”

Ben swept away from her murderous gaze. “That’s it, Han, that’s the last straw. We’re going home right now—”

Rey swept the area. “Where’s Uvay?!”

#

Ben stomped into the living room, two squirming boys in his arms, and plopped them onto the couch. He turned on the entertainment system to some stupid show that made him want to stab himself, but it entertained the two little monsters for some idiotic reason. He pointed. “You two…will not leave this room…for any reason…unless I say so.”

Ben plopped onto the couch, fuming. He just wanted to have a pleasant family day at Beachwalk, just like they used to. But every damn moment was one emergency after another because of these two maniacs. Even now, Han jumped from cushion to cushion, couch to sofa, nonstop while squawking about TIE Fighters and ships and blowing up everything. Uvay at least stared at his mind-numbing crap and sat still.

There Ben was, as usual, trapped in the aftermath of the twins. The rest of the family was still at Beachwalk, enjoying the rest of the night, probably having a blast now that they didn’t have to keep a constant eye on the two troublemakers.

Ben pressed his mouth against his hand. It was hard not to feel resentful, especially since having more kids was Rey’s idea. But she got to go out and have fun, hell, even her job had to be more fun than this, while Ben cleaned up constant messes since RT-47 was always at Uvay’s mercy, fix things, pay for repairs, or deal the thousands of apologies. If the kids did something wrong, it was his problem, if they ran off, it was because he wasn’t watching them, and quite honestly, it was getting old fast.

“Daddy’s a bad guy!” Han chanted while pounding Ben over the head with a pillow. “Beat the bad guy! Beat the bad guy!”

RT-47 came in to deal with the already accumulating mess and fell over at the flick of Uvay’s hand.

Ben just sat there, with that stupid, grating tune from that obnoxious show bleating in his skull, RT-47 spewing out constant error prompts, and Han beating on him relentlessly with a pillow calling him a bad guy.

Benny was right. Ben should have run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many notes for this chapter LOL!
> 
> First of all, poor Ben. 
> 
> Second, the scene where Han gets sucked into a wave is based on something that actually happened. When one of my nieces was that age, she was warned many times to stay back from the huge waves, but she kept racing toward them as they crested. Well one got her good and she got sucked into the ocean. I dove in, my sun hat still on, and pulled her out. She was quite shaken and didn't go near the big waves after that one (unlike Han.) My hat stayed on... (it did have a chin strap, but still.)
> 
> Third, the inspiration for Beachwalk is actually the Jersey Shore in NJ (USA.) In particular it's mostly based off of Wildwood with some hints of Point Pleasant in there (mostly the strong waves, much rougher than Wildwood, something different with the sandbar.) So basically they're out having pizza and ice cream and fried stuff while hitting the arcades, playing the shady skill games, riding the rides, and robbing the crane machines. The Shore is a thing anyone in NJ understands and is a part of their blood, so most of Ben's experiences are based on my own. 
> 
> Fourth, I left the Ferris Wheel as is, without making it a Space Ferris Wheel because I wanted Rey to do her climbing thing to get to Han. 
> 
> Fifth, Uvay was originally just going to be a typical Force-sensitive, not nearly as strong as Benny or Leia, but as I'm writing this and realizing how tricky it would be to actually escape a technologically advanced house, the idea that he would have a special way he uses his Force powers came about, besides just being able to lift Han wherever he needs to go. 
> 
> PS Ben needs a hug.
> 
> PPS Ben does NOT like ants!


	3. Third Trial: The Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd think Ben losing his fruit gel to a sandcastle would have put him over the edge, but it's nothing compared to the mess the twins get him in this time. Ben and Rey need a voice of wisdom more than ever.

“Do you want to watch the lightsaber battle or do you want to sit inside?” Ben was already tired of Han’s mischief and it was only the afternoon. At five years old, Han was utterly restless and climbing the walls on a good day.

Han jumped up and down. “Lightsabers! Lightsabers!”

“Then sit DOWN!” Ben pointed at the bench with a face that told the little boy not to test him. Thankfully, the kid plopped down. “Uvay?” Han’s twin scooted in next to his brother without a word. “No nonsense from either of you. Han, if you move from this spot, you can spend the rest of the night in your room. Uvay, you use the Force at all, you’ll be in there with him, got it?” Uvay nodded. Han sulked. “I mean it. I will not have what happened last time, so you both stay put and no fooling around or this is the last demo you will ever watch, you hear me?” More nodding and sulking.

Ben straightened and tried to work the tension out of his shoulders. The last time those two terrors got involved, Han ran into the middle of the saber battle, and when Uvay tried to get him out, Benny almost took the kid’s head off. Over and over they told the twins that what they were training for was life and death, but still Han…HAN! Always that one diving straight into the heart of danger and Uvay either helping or trying to get him out of it.

Ben plopped right behind them to make sure they did exactly as they were told as the other students gathered on the benches.

Sixteen-year-old Leia strode into the center ring, pale gray halter and tight pants that flared at the knee. She was so incredibly graceful, like a crane, and Ben did a sweep of the teen boys in attendance to see which ones were looking way too long at his beautiful daughter who was not to be touched by any man ever.

At twenty-eight, Benny traded the cockiness and bravado from a few years prior into a smooth confidence that didn’t bother with boasting. He stepped out into the ring with his indigo uniform and wide-leg pants and performed a few stretches. His fiance Nishiri, though not Force-sensitive herself, always dropped by to watch his demonstrations and sat next to Ben now.

Ben was surprised Benny settled down so fast after those crazy party years, but the way she looked at him and he at her, it was a sight to behold. The family and crew would soon be off to their next galactic mission, but before then, they would be welcoming the pretty girl into the family to join them on their journey.

“In this demonstration,” Leia said, “you will see how differences in build and fighting style do not matter in combat, but certain adjustments will apply. As you can see, I’m tall but not nearly as tall as Ben, and he’s a lot stronger than I am. However, I am faster and more agile and will be using a slightly different weapon which Ben must adjust to.” She nodded to her brother. “Ready?”

Benny spun his saber hilt in his hand before stomping into his stance. “Always.”

Nishiri giggled and grasped Ben’s upper arm. “I love it when he does that!”

Ben looked over to Rey, who hid a knowing chuckle.

Leia stretched into her delicate starting pose, long saber hilt in her hand. Benny’s saber ignited in his deep blue, and Leia’s in green. On the reverse side of her saber, another beam of green appeared. After a moment, Leia spun her double-ended weapon and slipped into battle, Benny calculating every defensive maneuver, favoring speed over brute force. Leia could bend in ways Ben would never survive and could flip and spin out of strikes like no one he’d ever seen. His precious daughter had developed a style of her own that was as mesmerizing as it was deadly.

“PAUSE!” Leia cried. Benny spun his saber twice, deactivated it with a breath, and whipped back his hair. Leia drew in both ends of her green saber. “If you’ve been analyzing the moves, you see how we both adjust for our adversary. Benny knows that if he relies on hard strikes, I will come in fast and kill him. And I know that if I block against his full strength, I could lose against the brute force, so I choose to parry and slip into his stronger strikes, let his saber flow outward and away while I slip into the distance between us. Any questions?”

“She is sooo good,” Nishiri said. “You have raised an amazing little girl.”

Ben smiled. It was easy to like Nishiri. “Thank you, but all the praise goes to her. She makes a father proud.”

“I bet you have to beat the boys away from her.”

“Yes I do.”

Nishiri laughed. “Did you have to chase the girls off of Benny?”

“Oh, that was his mother’s business, you’d have to ask her. But well, you should have seen her when he first hit the town when we got back to Chandrila—”

“Daddy, this is boring,” Han said. “I wanna see more fights.”

“Han, this is a class, not a stadium. Just sit and behave.”

“I’m booooored.”

“You want to be bored out here or bored in your room?”

Han continued to whine. Ben tried to ignore the grating noise in his skull.

“Daddy!” Leia said. “You’re up!”

Ben stood, excused himself from Nishiri and patted his daughter on the shoulder as they passed through the benches, trading places. As Ben entered the ring, it was now Benny’s turn to speak. “Despite our age difference—”

“Shut up, Benny,” Ben said.

“—my father and I are of similar height, stature, and fighting style. So when I’m faced with an enemy who is, for all intents and purposes my equal, I have to think outside the scope of myself. What are his weaknesses and how can I exploit them?”

“But sometimes,” Ben added, “you will only see the strengths and weaknesses as the battle unfolds. Come at me.” Ben grasped his saber but did not ignite it. Benny lit his and went on the attack. Ben slipped in and out of strikes, kicking at Benny to throw him off balance but still not engaging his saber. “As you see—Benny now realizes I have a lot of dexterity—and can sense his strikes coming—he’s getting a feel for me, and now, as I engage my lightsaber—”

Benny swung down with an overhand strike toward Ben’s back. Ben threw his arm over his shoulder and clicked the lightsaber to turn it on and block the strike.

The ignition switch fell apart in his hand, the saber remaining blank and cold.

Burning agony sliced through his back muscles and across his spine before Benny could pull back. Ben cried out and fell forward to the ground, unable to move anything below his waist.

“DAD!” Benny cried and dropped to the ground.

“DADDY!” Leia ran toward him, Rey hot on her heels.

“BEN!” Rey knelt beside him. “Leia?”

“I got this,” his daughter said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Ben could feel his daughter’s long hands on either end of his gaping, screaming wound that burned like all hell, making his body tremble.

“Ben, just hang in there,” Rey said, her eyes flitting from his to Leia, assessing whether she should use her life transfer healing instead.

“Fuck!” Benny said, tears in his eyes. “Dad! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I—I—”

Rey turned to him. “What the hell happened?”

“His saber never turned on, Dad, why didn’t you turn it on?”

Ben was in too much pain to speak, so he sent his messages directly to Rey. _My saber’s broken. It fell apart in my hand when I went to turn it on._

“Broken?” Rey said. “Didn’t you check it?”

_I had no reason to check it, and it didn’t feel off until I tried to turn it on._

“Mom?” Benny said with a sniffle.

“His lightsaber was broken; he had no idea.”

Ben finally felt the slow but steady relief of Leia’s flowing healing power coursing through her and entering him. It didn’t have the speed of Rey’s, but it did a lot less damage to the healer.

“He’ll be okay,” Rey said. “It’s closing up.”

Benny nodded and stood, then picked something up off the floor. After a few moments he addressed the class. “As you can see, a lightsaber battle is not to be taken lightly, not in combat or in training. My father didn’t realize his lightsaber was broken, so when he went to ignite for the block, it failed him. That’s one important lesson to keep in mind, always check your equipment, whether lightsaber or laser pistol, before going off into battle. We will end class a little early today for obvious reasons, so for homework I’d like you to write a short contemplation piece on what you observed here today and how it affected you and your approach to combat and training. Class dismissed.”

Ben could finally feel his feet again and relished being able to wiggle his toes. Before long, the burning dulled to an ache, to a discomfort, then complete relief. “Thank you, baby-girl, I think I’m good now.”

Rey helped him to his knees and brushed the dirt and rocks from his cheek. “You sure you’re okay?”

Ben nodded. “I’m good, just a little in shock. Can I see my lightsaber?”

Benny handed him the hilt and the separated ignition switch. “There’s a bunch of screws missing.”

Ben instinctively looked over to the twins, but they were missing from the bench.

#

Ben stormed into the house with Rey, Benny, and Leia marching in behind him. They heard a kitchen drawer slam shut while Uvay and Han sat on the couch as if nothing was happening. Ben slammed his lightsaber onto the counter and glared at them. “You two know anything about this?”

“No,” Han said. Uvay looked at Han echoed his twin.

“Well then maybe you’d like to tell me who else in the house or all the houses would have taken screws out of my lightsaber?”

Han scratched at his head, brown waves flopping. “Um…Tevi and Jeel want lightsabers one day, maybe they did it.”

Benny crossed his arms. “Do you want to keep _lying_ or do I have to go into your head and dig the truth out myself?”

“But I didn’t do it!”

Rey clenched her teeth. “You have three seconds to admit to what you’ve done! One…”

“It wasn’t me!”

“Two…”

“Uvay did it.”

Uvay jumped up in shock. “No I didn’t, you liar! It was your stupid idea in the first place!”

“No it wasn’t, it was yours!”

“No it wasn’t!”

“ENOUGH!” Rey screamed. “You are both in so much trouble right now. Do you realize you could have gotten your father killed?”

Ben pointed his finger. “What is the one thing I keep telling the two of you? Huh? Weapons are off limits. OFF LIMITS! Not to touch, not to break into the safe and take them anyway, not to even LOOK at! And this is why, this is EXACTLY WHY!”

Silence and two scared little boy faces. Then Han said, “But Uvay’s the one that did it.”

“I DID NOT!” his twin screamed. “I got you the screwdriver!”

“Did not!”

“STOP IT!” Rey screeched. She began pacing. “What are we going to do with you two? You don’t listen, no matter what safety precautions we take, you go and break them anyway—”

Leia pointed. “You’re just lucky we know healing methods! Your great uncle Luke had to have a robot hand because his got cut off and no one could heal him. You could have paralyzed Daddy for life!” She plopped into a kitchen chair.

“I could have killed him!” Benny said. “One more inch and I could have killed Dad, is that what you want?”

Uvay sniffled. “I don’t want Daddy to die.”

Rey thrust her hands out. “Did you see that wound? Did you see what that lightsaber did to him? Huh?”

Uvay sobbed into his arms while Han shrugged. “But I didn’t do it.”

Ben gripped his hair, ready to pull his entire scalp off at once in frustration. “Han, you listen to me and listen to me good. I don’t know how stupid you think we are, but we know you did it and your brother got you the tools to do it. Now I’m going to say this once and only once, and I swear, if I ever, EVER, catch either of you touching a weapon before you are authorized to do so, you will be in so much trouble you will NEVER see the end of it, do you hear me? And the only answer I will hear right now is ‘Yes.’ Do not test me!”

“Yes,” Uvay said, his shoulders heaving as he cried.

“Yes,” Han said, digging his hands into the back pillows of the couch.

Benny leaned up against the wall. Ben rested his elbows on the counter and hung his head, wondering what in the hell to do with the boys. When they started getting their hands on the weaponry, the adults tried locking doors. That did nothing, so they all got locking safes to store the lightsabers and pistols. That did nothing, so Leia found Force locks to keep the weapons safe, and somehow the crazy twins got past that! The family was a team of warriors, they had to keep their weapons on hand, but these twins were getting out of hand. Even trying to teach them safety and how the weapons worked did nothing, because they just wound up with them anyway, ignoring all safety protocols and nearly getting themselves and others injured.

Uvay ran to Rey, wrapping his arms around her legs. She relented, having a soft spot for the lesser of two evils, and picked him up. “Okay Uvay, stop crying now. You know what you did was wrong.”

“But I—”

“Even if you didn’t mess with it yourself, you got the tools to do it, and helping a bad thing is a bad thing, understand?”

“Uh huh,” Uvay squeaked. “I didn’t mean to hurt Daddy. I love Daddy. I don’t ever want to hurt Daddy.”

Even Ben was softening toward him. He sighed. “Alright, Daddy’s okay now, you learned a hard lesson but an important one, you never, ever ever—”

A flash of red and a blast erupted through the couch pillows and burned a hole into the far wall. Han, eyes huge, slowly slid away from the couch.

Ben lifted all the smoking pillows up on the Force and flung them out the back door while Leia grabbed a fire extinguisher for the wall. Once the pillows were gone, Ben found the culprit—someone had stuffed a laser pistol back in the couch. It was also missing a few screws but was clearly still functional.

“HAN!” Rey hissed, but even as she stood there holding Uvay, she didn’t know what to do with Han.

Ben turned the pistol over, saw the loosened trigger and nodded. It wasn’t one of theirs, wrong type of metal, and they only had three pistols kept way off premises on account of the boys’ antics. The most likely source was Sona’s house, her personal collection of so many guns she’d never know if one disappeared. Surely she kept them locked up, but with Uvay around, locks were toys.

So not only were they fooling with weapons, they were stealing them from the neighbors as well.

Ben twisted the charging unit and disconnected it, before placing it quietly, methodically upon the counter.

And then he turned to Han.

The boy held onto the couch behind him, the one now missing all of its upper pillows that were probably flaming in the training ring. Pure rage boiled through Ben’s veins and even as he stomped over to the boy, he drew forth every ounce of willpower he had to control himself.

He grasped the boy’s arms and screamed, “DO YOU NOT FUCKING LISTEN TO ANY FUCKING THING ANYONE EVER TELLS YOU IN THIS HOUSE?! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE RIGHT NOW, I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU SORRY—”

“DADDY!” Leia shouted.

The utter terror in the Han’s face crumpled in a wide-mouthed wail, and Ben was torn between the heat of his fury and feeling like a horrible father. Then the gasping breaths of someone in a full panic attack stopped him cold.

Benny stood against the wall, shaking, fingers counting one by one as his trembling lips tried to mouth the words. Then Ben felt it, waves of energy pouring off of Benny.

“Shit, shitshitshit, Benny, come on, snap out of it. It’s just me, it’s just Dad.”

Benny nodded, but then his eyes glazed over, the waves growing stronger. Ben spun toward the others. “Leia, Rey, kids, now!”

The four of them scattered, Leia muttering admonitions at Han. Ben nestled himself next to Benny, arm touching arm, and softened his voice. “Benny, it’s just your dad. You’re in your house. The kitchen is right there. The floor is right beneath you—”

“Ben!” Nishiri jogged into the house. “Are you okay?”

Elder Ben put his hand out. “Nishiri, you have to go right now.”

“Ben, your eyes, they’re orange—Mr. Solo, what’s happening to him?”

“It’s like a panic episode but it can be dangerous—please just go and we’ll explain later.”

“Ben!” Nishiri said. “I’m here! Everything’s okay, I promise.”

“Nishiri PLEASE GO for your own safety NOW!” Ben could feel the waves pulsing stronger and stronger. “Ben, your fiance is here and you don’t want to hurt her, please remember where you are. Count backwards from five.”

Benny nodded, whispers of five, four, three, two, one pouring from his lips.

“Good, you are safe, you are in the kitchen. What colors are the floor tiles?”

“Black and white,” Benny whispered.

“And what color are the walls?”

“White…and bright yellow…”

Ben could see the panting slow into deeper breaths, the waves dying down. “That’s it, buddy. What are you wearing?”

“Training uniform.” He swallowed, blinked, breaths slowing even more. “In the kitchen. At home. Five-four-three-two-one, one-two-three-four-five.”

Nishiri placed a hand on Benny’s forearm. He jolted, but then recognition caught as he looked into her eyes.

“Ben?” Nishiri said. “Are you okay?”

He finally moved from the wall and nodded. He clasped his hand over hers and gave her fingers a kiss. Then he turned toward his father and put his arms around him. “I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean…thought I was over…”

“It’s okay,” Ben whispered, hugging his son in return. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I don’t know about Han in about five minutes, but you’re okay.”

Benny chuckled softly and drew back, wiping a tear. Ben put his hand on Benny’s shoulder. “Why don’t you two go out for a bit, relax a little. It’s been a crazy evening.”

Benny pushed his hair back. “You promise not to kill Han?”

Ben sighed. “I’m not going to kill Han. I’ll never kill another Han again as long as I live. Force knows he’ll probably get his own self killed screwing around like he does.”

Benny chuckled, then sucked in a breath. “Fuck! I can’t believe I did that, thought after all this time…”

“Well you had good control this time. We still have the house, see? Well, except for the hole in the wall and the couch, but that wasn’t your fault.” Ben shook his head. “I need to figure out what to do about Han. This is getting out of hand.”

#

Ben exited the back door. Leia was spraying the pillows with the hose while Rey kept guard on the sullen twins. Ben looked at the little ones and pressed his fingers to his temples. Rey had wanted another baby, and despite his misgivings, he gave into her even though he wasn’t sure he was up for the task. Now five years later the stress load was double, and these two were four times the trouble Benny or Leia ever were.

He didn’t know what the hell to do anymore. “I’m going for a run.” He took off before Rey could question or protest. Behind him he heard Han screaming, “Daddy, come back! I want a hug!”

Ben pressed his lips together, his head and heart at war with one another, and ran faster. He had to get away, for his own sanity, for the safety of the small boy who hit that final nerve, he just had to get as far as he could, burn off the fury that still flamed inside of him.

Not a minute later, footsteps grew closer. He didn’t know who was chasing after him and didn’t care. He ran harder, but the soft footsteps caught up, regardless. Leia, her tall, lithe frame rushing through the breeze, turned to him.

“Daddy, we can tire ourselves out trying to outrun and play catchup or we can jog like normal people.”

Ben slowed down, even if he didn’t feel like talking. Leia matched his pace and also said nothing. “Leia, go back home and help your mother. The point of this is to be alone with my thoughts.”

“Well I need to burn off some energy after that healing, and maybe I want to be alone with _my_ thoughts, ever think of that? Maybe _you’re_ interfering in my run!”

Ben almost grinned. “Fine, I’ll shut up then.”

“Fine.”

Finally, after a few more minutes, Ben caved. “I couldn’t hug him right then. I was too angry. I don’t care if that makes me a bad parent, but after what happened, I need to burn off steam before I can be anything but furious.”

“Oh Daddy, you have not nor have ever been a bad parent. You’re the best daddy ever, you know that.”

Ben started to smile.

“But Daddy, you scared even me, and I wasn’t the one in trouble.”

Ben heaved out a breath. “You’ve never had to hear me yell like that. You were always an angel, and Benny…I only did that to him once, and it ended bad. You were too young to remember.”

Leia was silent, then. “I wasn’t always an angel.”

“Oh come on, I never had to yell at you. I gave you a stern look and you immediately complied. You were a doll, still are.”

“That’s because Mom hid the stuff I did because she said it would break your heart.”

“What? Like what?”

“Well, when I was fourteen, I used the Force to sneak into a teacher’s open computer and made the system think a girl who was mean to me had been expelled. She missed a week of school before they realized it was a mistake.”

“Leia!”

“She had to make up all that work, it was so funny.”

“That’s not funny!”

“Well she deserved it, then this other time—”

“Actually, I’m with your mother. I’m happier not knowing, especially with those twin terrors destroying the house and almost getting me killed. I don’t know what to do anymore. Benny had an attitude problem and explosive Force powers, but I felt like I understood him and what he was going through. You I _thought_ was an angel, so I didn’t have to correct you all that often. But Han…HAN! He’s only five, and he’s the biggest troublemaker I’ve ever seen. I can only be thankful he can’t use the Force to do much of anything. Uvay can’t leave a lock, electronic, or droid alone for two minutes, but at least he’s not nearly as destructive, usually just following that instigator. There are no toys left in their room, I don’t know how many times we can punish them, it’s not doing shit, and now it’s getting dangerous.”

Ben shook his head, sweat shaking off the ends of his hair. “I just don’t know anymore. And I don’t get why. Does he hate me? Is he my father reincarnated and out to get revenge?”

“Oh Daddy, stop. He doesn’t hate you, and if Grandpa was reincarnated, I don’t think he’d bother with revenge. Despite what you did, he still loved you.”

Ben swallowed. “Thank you, baby-girl.”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s just hard being Han. Surrounded by all of us who can use the Force, swing lightsabers, and he’s too small for pistols. There’s this whole world he’s too small for and still wants to be a part of. I mean, he’s just a little kid. I don’t think he wants to be bad, but he wants something. Maybe you have to see it from his point of view to figure why he does these things.”

Ben continued jogging, contemplating. “How’d you get so smart, baby-girl? You didn’t get it from me, that’s for sure.”

Leia pushed his arm. “Stop, Daddy. We all have things we’re good at, even Han and Uvay, as long as they don’t set the house on fire again.”

#

When Ben and Leia returned home, she pushed past him to get to the shower first. Ben sat on the back patio and sprayed himself with the hose to cool off.

Rey stepped outside and sat on the nearby chaise lounge. “Thought maybe you were planning to run away for good.”

“Eh, considered it. Where are the boys?”

“Asleep. Made them go to bed early. Ben I’m…I’m sorry I pushed you into this.”

Ben held his hand up. “Don’t do that. I love them. I can’t imagine my life without them, especially when they almost—” He still couldn’t talk about the day they were born. His throat seized. “You know.”

Rey sighed. “Sometimes I don’t think about the pressure that’s on you. I’m…terribly frustrated with them too, and I push it all off on you because it’s too much sometimes. And I can see how…I don’t know, bitter and fed up you’ve seemed the past few years, almost like a light’s gone out of you. And I hate that, I miss that in you, and I know I’m the one that wanted this and you’re paying the price.”

“You’re not pushing it on me, I’m taking it all on myself because…it’s a heavy weight, and I don’t want it on you…“ He took a breath and rubbed his hands over his face. “I still, even now, especially when things get tough, I just look at you and…if you don’t have a smile on your face, then I’ve failed you.” He swallowed. “Just like when we faced off against Palpatine that first time.”

Rey leaned forward. “Ben, you did not fail me.” She took his hands. “I’m right here, and I’m fine. And you did everything you could just like you’re doing everything you can now. I can’t always have a smile on my face, that’s not reality. And it’s not your burden to bear all by yourself. If in my own…handling of this constant stress made it so I pushed so much on your shoulders, I’m sorry. I really am.” She ran her fingers over his forehead and caressed his cheek. “Ever since that day, you’ve been broken and trying to hide it, trying to take on too much. A part of you got lost along the way, and I miss it. I miss that sparkle, that humor, that…brightness in you that always lit up the darkest night. I’d do anything to bring him back again.”

Ben sucked in a long, slow breath. “It’s hard, Rey. It’s really hard. But I love those boys so…fucking much.” He pressed his lips together and hung his head. “I will never regret my boys, never. I’m just at the end of my rope, and I don’t know how to handle it.” Ben rubbed his temple. “I should have hugged Han.”

“Ben, you were fuming. You’ll hug him in the morning.”

“I don’t want him to go to bed thinking I don’t love him. He’s…an incredible pain in the ass, but damn I love that kid. I…” He growled and shoved his hands through his hair. “I feel like shit for yelling at him now, the way I did. Seeing his face…even…fucking got Benny all panicking. Leia said I scared her, too. I just…I just don’t know what to do anymore!”

“I know, believe me I know. And…yelling was the least of what he deserved for those antics, but I guess to those who didn’t see you at your worst, you can come off terrifying.”

Ben hung his head. “I don’t want to terrify my kids, I just want them not to get themselves killed or kill someone else! Is that so much to ask?”

“I remember saying the same thing about you.” It was an oh-so familiar voice Ben would never forget.

Rey straightened and smiled. “Leia!”

Ben sat up and turned at the blue-white, translucent vision of his mother. “Mom?”

“That one’s a rascal, huh?” Leia laughed. “Takes after his namesake. You’re only lucky he doesn’t have the power Benny or my sweet girl Leia has or you’d be in even bigger trouble. Least all the power went to his sensible brother.”

“Huh, not so sensible. He’s the one getting Han all he needs to get in trouble in the first place.”

“It’s a challenge, that’s for sure.”

Ben shook his head. “Mom, we’re drowning in this chaos. If you’re here, you must have something for us, please?”

“Well I will say this, Han is very much like his grandfather, and the only time your father was happiest was when he was doing exactly what he felt he was meant to be doing. He was always going back to his old ways of things, familiar ways, living life on the edge. He was never content to be the type to hang around and fill a role. In that I see the two of you are very different. Han would never have sat around washing dishes with babies on his back.”

Ben shrugged. “It’s just what I do for my family. It’s not a big deal.”

“But it is a big difference. You wanted so much to be like your father when you were you were young, but your little one? Reminds me more of Han than you. You had it easy with Benny, you just had to look at yourself. Leia, well, she takes after her mother and me, so you didn’t have to worry about so much.”

Ben looked at Rey. “Except for some computer changes that got a girl expelled?”

Rey blinked. “Huh? What?”

Ben shook his head and returned to his mother.“ Leia said we should try seeing things from his point of view, find out what he really wants and what he’s not getting.”

Leia smiled. “Knew she got my smarts.”

“In droves, Mom.”

“I don’t know that you could ever tame the twins’ energy or impulsiveness, but maybe if you look at them from a different angle, you’ll see the key to keeping them safe and in line. You two are wonderful parents, you just have a bit of a trial ahead of you.”

“I’d say.”

“Don’t pigeonhole them, Ben, or make the same assumptions I did. Let them tell you who they are and trust that they have good hearts, just like you did with your Benny.”

Ben nodded, smiled. “Okay.”

“Oh, and for the record, your father says he isn’t trying to take revenge through your son, but he is having one hell of a laugh.”

Ben sighed and looked up at the sky. “Thanks Dad…”

“Take care, you two, and may the Force be with you.” Leia huffed. “You’re gonna need it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think everyone needs a hug after this mess!
> 
> I had pondered what kind of lightsaber to give Leia for a while. I decided to go with green because of her healing abilities. As for the design, I was inspired by the concept art for the Trevorrow Ep 9 script (which I am NOT a fan of after having read it, but I do like the art concepts) which had Rey with a double-ended lightsaber, plus I wanted to give a throwback to Rey's early weapon, which I'm sure she would have taught her daughter to use. I was also inspired by some really acrobatic lightsaber demonstrations I'd seen somewhere on social media and wanted to give her something special that set her off from the rest. 
> 
> Daddy Ben is not taking this whole "daughter growing up" thing well at all...


	4. Fourth Trial: Seeing Beneath the Surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With some new wisdom, Ben approaches the twins in a new direction. But his previous actions have consequences that affect Benny in ways Ben hadn't expected.

The next morning, Ben headed into the twins’ room. Their punishments had netted them down to beds and dressers, no toys or entertainment of any variety, and on Rey’s orders, they were to stay in there until Ben got up.

But apparently Rey had softened a little and left them with crayons and paper. Actually, Ben wasn’t sure if paper was available because Han was drawing all over the walls, Uvay adding to Han’s pictures and spicing them up.

Ben wondered how much more hair pulling his scalp could take before it just up and fell right off his head.

Han leaped at the sight of his father and immediately tried to cover his handiwork. Uvay looked from Han to Ben and did the same.

 _Didn’t your mother give you paper? Why would you do that when you know you’re not supposed to? Your mother gave you crayons, and the first thing you do is this?_ All the angry thoughts raced through his head, and he could have started with any of them. But he’d been down that road before, many times, and here he was, back in the same place.

Ben crouched down to their height and looked up at the wall. “So, what’s the story going on here?”

Han tilted his head. “Huh?”

“What did you draw? Tell me the story.”

Confused eyes, then Han stepped away from the wall and pointed. “Up here is our spaceship that we’re going to go on soon. And over here is the planet with the bad guys. So we shoot the bad guys and then go on the planet and everyone fights with lightsabers except for me because I don’t have the Force so this is my special gun that shoots bad guys in one shot and freezes them like ice so they can be put in jail.”

Uvay pointed. “Here’s the jail, and it’s really cold because the bad guys stay frozen, but then here’s the other bad guys with a heat gun to unfreeze their friends.”

“And here’s me jumping onto the heat gun and shooting it with my other gun that breaks machines. And then I steal their spaceship because they’re bad guys and they shouldn’t have a spaceship.”

Damn, that was creative. “So why did you draw it here instead of on the paper mommy gave you?”

Uvay shrugged. “It wouldn’t fit.”

 _It wouldn’t fit._ Ben huffed, then chuckled. In all the times he scolded them for writing on things that weren’t paper, he never thought to ask. “Sounds like you boys are excited for our trip.”

Han jumped up and down and leapt onto the bed, jumping there. “We’re gonna go into space and fly the ship and shoot bad guys and go to planets and fight bad guys and go to all the stars and shoot stars and everything!”

 _Shoot stars?_ “You want to fight bad guys, huh?”

“Yep!” Han said, running out of breath as he bounced over and over again. “I wanna be a hero like you and mommy and Benny and Leia and Uncle Finn and Uncle Poe and Aunt Sona and…”

It exhausted Ben just watching him. But his heart warmed realizing the little kid wasn’t trying to be a royal pain, he was just excited and wanted to be a part of the crew. Then Han hopped way too close to the bed’s edge, and just as he was about to collide with the footboard, he sprung off of it as if he meant to do it all along and hopped to Uvay’s bed like gravity didn’t matter.

Ben pressed his lips together and stroked the hairs on his chin. He drew a crayon to his hand while Han rattled off all the things he would do when they got to space. Ben held the crayon in his fingers and targeted just outside Han’s body so the object wouldn’t strike.

“Han, catch!” Ben whipped the crayon at a speed no small child should be able to process.

In the middle of frantic bouncing, a little hand snapped out and grabbed the colorful tool. “Blue! That’s Daddy’s favorite color.”

_Those reflexes, so sharp._

Han threw the crayon back, but Uvay snatched it out of the air on the Force before Ben could grab it and pointed. “That’s why we drew you in blue.”

Ben felt like he was seeing his twins for the first time, _really_ seeing them, seeing into them where frustration and exhaustion wouldn’t let him see before. He stretched out his arms. “Hey, I didn’t get my goodnight hug last night.”

Han leapt from Uvay’s bed, bounced off his own, and plowed into Ben’s waiting arms. Little arms wrapped around Ben’s neck, and he wanted to punch himself for frightening this precious creature in his arms the night before. He sunk his nose into the soft brown waves on Han’s head. “I love you, buddy.”

“Love you too, Daddy.”

Uvay bounced off Han’s bed and Ben opened his right arm just in time to catch the little replica. “I love Daddy, too.”

“And Daddy loves you,” Ben said, kissing both heads. “More than you’ll ever know, even if you drive me bonkers sometimes.”

“I’m sorry we almost killed you.”

“Yeah,” Han said, “and I’m sorry I set the house on fire.”

Ben couldn’t help but laugh, wondering if any normal family had this type of conversation. “I forgive you boys, but now you know how dangerous weapons can be, right?” Two little heads nodded. “Good. Now come on, let’s go outside.”

“We can come out of our room?”

“Doesn’t help anyone keeping you in here, that’s for sure.”

#

“This is just like TIE Fighters!” Han said, bouncing in his seat, virtual reality visor plastered to his face.

Ben pulled the lever on the professional grade flight simulator to adjust the foot pedals to his son’s height. “Big differences here though. Everything will move like you’re in a real X-wing, it will feel real, so if it gets to be too much, you yell ‘Stop,’ okay?”

“Uh huh! Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh!” Han pounded his feet on the foot pedals.

Ben turned to the simulator next to him. “How about you, Uvay, you okay in there?”

“Yeah, but what if I need to use the Force?”

“No Force here, this is a simulator. All you’ll do is break it, and Daddy can’t afford that. You two are lucky I’m even letting you try it at your age. Alright, buckled in?” He received two exuberant, affirmative responses. “Alright, right foot pedal controls your speed forward, you push down to go faster, lift up to slow down. The left is the hard brake. The hand controls go up, down, left, and right, just like I showed you. Hard right or left will make the ship spin, which can help you avoid enemy fire or slip into tight spaces. Okay boys, ready?”

“YEAH!” Han screamed, hands shaking the controls.

“Uh huh,” Uvay said.

Ben leaned into Han’s simulator. “Remember, this will act like a real ship, so don’t yank the controls like that or you’re going to make yourself barf, got it? Okay, on the count of three, the simulator starts. One…two…three!”

Ben watched as the two simulators lifted into action, rolling from side to side, Han’s experiencing more action than Uvay’s. Ben watched the screen that provided a visual of what the boys saw and also what the ship would look like if being observed. Above that was a running score based on correct application of controls, avoiding obstacles and enemy fire, and firing upon the enemy.

Han’s score flew into the high digits for a first time run and dwarfed his twin brother’s. Might even run close to Benny’s first time, and that kid was thirteen when Ben first taught him.

Uvay’s excitement fizzled and the boy just kept his X-wing cruising and avoiding obstacles and enemies. But Han…HAN…Ben watched with wide eyes, heart pounding, as the kid’s reflexes struck like lightning, pulling off maneuvers no typical pilot would have been able to adjust for with split seconds to spare. Ben looked into the simulator to see his five-year-old son so fully engaged and intent. Han’s score passed Benny’s, and Ben didn’t dare bring it up to his eldest son, who had been miserable lately and refusing to say why.

Though Ben noticed Nishiri was absent from Benny’s demonstrations.

The simulation ended, the machine lowering and settling back into place. Han yanked off the visor and the safety straps and leapt out of the seat. “Again! Again-again-again-again!”

Ben scooped him out of the air. “Oooh, someone had fun in there.”

“I flew through all the rocks and the TIE Fighters and shot them and shot the rocks and then I flew through the mountains and everything! Can I go again? Please-please-please?!”

Ben leaned toward the other simulator. “What do you say, Uvay? You want to go again?”

“Nah,” Uvay said, pulling off the visor and straps. “It was fun, but I want to do Force stuff, and it’s not fun without Force stuff.”

“Alright, well let’s let Han go for another round—” Anything to tire the kid out. “—and we can do some puzzles while we wait.”

“YAY!” Han wriggled out of Ben’s arms like he was made of water and sprung back into the simulator.

Ben made sure his straps were correct and slid the visor over the boy’s head. “Alright, think you can beat your score?”

“YES YES YES!”

Ben patted the top of the simulator. “Have at it. One…two…three!” While the machine lifted and rocked, Ben sat down with Uvay. Out of a backpack he pulled Benny’s old mechanical puzzles. “Alright Uvay, let’s start with this one.” Ben held it; Uvay stared at it. After a full minute, the puzzle burst open, all locks sprung at once. Ben nodded. “Nice! Ready for the next one? Little harder.”

Uvay laughed. “These are easy.”

Ben crinkled his lips into a crooked smile. _Easy…I still can’t figure the damn things out…_

#

On the way home, as the boys devoured their frozen custard cones, Ben saw Nishiri at a picnic table poking at her lunch. He wasn’t sure what was going on with the couple, but he wasn’t about to pass by without greeting the sweet girl. “Heyyy Nishiri. Long time no see.”

The woman perked, then looked as if she would burst into tears. She forced a smile. “Mr. Solo, I thought you were…never mind.”

He leaned his head down. “Ben, remember? You don’t have to call me Mr. Solo.”

Nishiri nodded. “I know, it’s just…it’s easier…”

He sat down. “Benny hasn’t said a word to me, and I don’t want to stick my nose in, but you seem miserable and so does he.”

She laughed lightly with tears in her eyes. “I’m surprised he hasn’t…he broke off the engagement.”

And now he would die. “What? Why?”

Nishiri sniffled. “He says it’s because I don’t have powers, can’t use the Force.”

Ben pressed his lips together. “That little shit. I didn’t raise him to be an elitist asshole.”

“No, he said he’s scared…of himself. Ever since that night with the panic episode. He grew so distant, and he said he’s afraid to hurt me one day if I can’t stop him.”

Ben felt like utter shit.

“And I told him I wasn’t afraid of him, that I knew he was so strong in his powers but also in his heart and mind, and I knew he’d never hurt me. That’s why I didn’t run when you told me to. I know him better than that. He never would have done anything bad if he knew I was there.”

Ben ran his hand through his hair.

Nishiri let out a breath and sniffled. “Stars, he does that with his hair, too. I just miss him so much. He’s so special. He’s the most incredible man I’ve ever met, and I don’t want to be without him.”

Ben put his hand on top of hers. “Let me talk to him, okay? He’s…I understand where he is coming from. I was there for what happened that made him this way, did he tell you?”

“Yeah, briefly, very…hard story to grasp as real, but I know him and your family, and I know he’s not making it up, something with Kylo Ren and Ben dying in lava and being saved and sometimes he gets triggered by fire or, as he said, a very specific type of yelling that only comes from one source—”

Ben groaned.

“—but he said the episodes used to happen, that they don’t happen anymore, until that night…I heard you yelling after you got hurt and those flaming pillows. Is that what caused it?”

Ben nodded. “Yeah. Benny went through a lot with Kylo. Bad stuff, really bad. My voice when I’m yelling reminds him, flaming pillows probably didn’t help. But he had been through counseling for a while, learned some calming methods. He was doing really well, especially around fire, and I guess I never really had to yell after that. Even when he was a little shithead, I always held it back for him. I didn’t…want to be that person again for him. But when…well, you know. I don’t think any of us expected he’d get triggered again.”

“The orange eyes…that was bad, right?”

Ben tipped his head from side to side. “It can be. He was tapping into his Dark power. If used correctly and with full sense of what you’re doing, it’s not necessarily bad or evil. But…the problem was he wasn’t in full control at that moment.”

“But he didn’t hurt anyone. He said last time he hurt you and messed up the garage or something. But he didn’t hurt anyone this time, right?”

“No, I felt it coming, we went through the process the counselors gave us. He did great.”

Nishiri planted her face in her hand and shook her head. “But he’s still scared. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be burdening you with this. I just…I love your family and I want to be a part of it all, and now…I just love him so much. I wish he could see that he’s stronger than he thinks.”

“I’ll talk to him, okay? I can’t guarantee anything, but at least I can usually get through to him.”

“Thank you Mr. So—Ben…Dad, if Ben would just come back.”

#

Later that night, after the twins were sound asleep (thank the stars) Ben signaled at Benny’s door.

“I’m busy,” came the response.

“No you’re not, you shithead, open the door.”

“I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone.”

“I didn’t ask if you were in the mood, I asked you to open the door.”

The door slid open. Benny was on the sofa with his knee drawn up, lights off, entertainment system not showing any real video, just a morphing image that cast changing light into the room. “What?”

“I talked to Nishiri today.”

“That wasn’t your business to be doing, but thank you.”

“The fuck you doing?”

“Well I bet she told you.”

“Benny, don’t do this. You love her, don’t you?”

Benny roared and thrust his fist into the sofa. “Do you think I’d be doing any of this if I didn’t love her?” He thrust his hand into his hair, then slammed it back down again. “I love her enough to keep her away from me.”

“Well, I can’t believe I’m going to quote Sona, but that is stupid.”

“Fuck you.”

Ben sat on the end table and rested his elbows on his knees. “Son, you had an episode, and you pulled out of it. No one got hurt, nothing got damaged. Your five-year-old brother did ten times worse than you did.”

“I lost control.”

“Yeah, so did I.”

“You’re why I fucking lost control!”

That punched Ben right in the stomach.

Benny put his hand to his head. “Dad, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” He clenched his eyes shut, fist clutching his hair. “I didn’t mean it. Just that…everything was going so right…and then I was reminded of how dangerous I really am…and how easy it would be to hurt someone like her. She can’t protect herself like you can or Mom. Do you not get this, Dad? If I lose control, she dies.” He shook his head. “I can’t face that. I can’t put her through that. She’s…better off without me. She’s so pretty…she’ll find someone…” He sniffled and buried his face in his fists.

Ben sat next to him and pulled his son into his arms. He kissed Benny’s head and could have punched himself repeatedly for that damn screaming he did. That one moment, that one frustrated, fed up moment destroyed so much. “Benny, if I could take back what I did and undo this all, believe me, I would. I never meant for something I did to take so much from you.”

Benny shook his head. “You just showed me the truth before it was too late. I guess you did me a favor.”

“I love you more than words could ever say, but I will say this. You are a fucking idiot.”

Benny pushed out of his father’s arms. “Oh THANKS Dad!”

“You are so fucking blind I’m surprised you can find your way to the bathroom.”

“Know what? If you’re just going to piss me off, then get out.”

“No, you’re going to hear this. I see you day in and day out working and teaching, showing those students exactly what it means to be a true master of the Force. Every move you make is precise, controlled, and with full intent. You are the greatest fucking man I’ve ever seen, hundred times better than I’ll ever be, and I know fully, in every part of my soul, that you would never hurt her.”

“Of course not, not intentionally. And that’s the problem.”

“But that’s not the problem, Benny. You had full trust in yourself all these years, to do what you’ve been able to do, even when you do lightsaber tricks, hell, I wouldn’t try half of them. You have always trusted yourself until that one slip, one trigger, one episode, which you pulled yourself out of, and you dare distrust yourself now? You’re fucking stupid!”

“ _You_ pulled me out.”

“I helped, not because I didn’t trust you to do it, but because I’m your father and I wanted to be there for you when you needed someone. I helped because I’m Dad, that’s what I do. But I didn’t have to put up a shield this time. I didn’t have to control your power. I didn’t have to do anything but talk to you. That’s all I did. And you did the rest.”

“You…can’t be there for my whole marriage.”

“No, but the two of you will be stuck on the Redemption with me and Mom and everyone else, so for at least the next ten years, we’ll be there in case you feel like you can’t do it on your own. We won’t let you lose control. But more importantly, _you_ won’t let you lose control.” He brushed his hand over Benny’s head. “Don’t let one slip ruin something that makes you so damn happy. I…fucking slipped a few times when I was trying to win your mom back, and we’re all okay. And believe me, I slip WAY easier than you do.” Benny almost smiled. “You’re not a fuckhead like your father. You’re better, always been better. You work through this with her, and you will both be happier for it. Alright? Will you trust me on this?”

“I’ll…try.”

“Do or do not—”

“Yeah yeah.” Benny threw a pillow at Ben who bonked him back with it. Benny sighed. “Thanks Dad. I’ll think about it, I will.”

“Good, because she’s a doll, and your kids will be fucking gorgeous, and I get to tell them all the stories of how stupid their Grandpa was.” Ben bonked him again with the pillow.

Benny smiled and shoved it back. “Not so stupid. Not stupid at all.”

Ben squeezed his shoulder and patted him on the chest. “Thanks son, but you know, I still have a few more years to fulfill that prophecy.”

“Or erase it.”

Ben smiled and grabbed his son in a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Ben's daddy moments, especially his interactions with Benny.


	5. Final Trial: Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family grows stronger (and perhaps bigger) as they learn a new way of life together. Ben makes a connection that seals a wound in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tissue alert, sweet sappy moments ahead!

“Okay, so now you press the trigger into the handle…” Ben observed Han’s handiwork. “That’s it, just like that. Now here, screw the plate on.”

Rey paced the kitchen table. “Ben, I don’t like this. A five-year-old shouldn’t have a laser pistol!”

“Small caliber, short range, and he’s going to be _very very careful_ with it and not do stupid stuff with it or hurt any living thing with it, right?”

“I promise,” Han said.

“And it’s only to be used during training and no other time, right?”

“Yep.”

“Because if you or Uvay ever use your pistols outside of these rules, what’s going to happen?”

The twins replied, “They’ll get melted down and we won’t be able to use anything but sticks until we’re ten.”

“And how much more than five is ten?”

“Five.”

“Five more whole years if you ever use these when you’re not supposed to.”

Rey rubbed her arms and growled. 

“How’s mine?” Uvay asked, his in far better shape than Han’s.

“Looking sharp,” Ben said, “but you have the fusion chamber on backwards.”

“Oh.”

“No fair!” Han said. “He built his using the Force!”

“So what?” Ben said. “Your hands work just fine.”

“Why does he get all the Force and I don’t?”

“Your Force acts in different ways. You have sharp reflexes and senses. It’s what’s just right for you. And one day, I bet you’re going to be a better pilot than all of us, be just like your Grandpa Han or even your Great Grandpa Anakin Skywalker.”

“Or Uncle Poe.”

“Shut up about Uncle Poe.”

#

_ The Right Course _

“Alright boys,” Ben said, “elbow pads, knee pads, chest and head armor—”

“Why do we have to wear all this?” Han asked.

Rey pointed. “Because I said so, end of story.”

Ben held up two cartridges. “Ready?” Han jumped in place while Uvay nodded.

“I can’t believe all this,” Nishiri said as she leaned into Benny’s chest. “You all built this crazy obstacle course for those boys?”

Benny put his arm around her. “Mostly my dad, and the two little lunatics helped, if you can call that help.”

“With a family like this, you are going to make such a great father one day.”

Benny held her close and kissed her head. “I have an excellent role model.”

Ben couldn’t help but warm and exchange a glance with his eldest son. He was so glad Benny took his advice and made up with his fiance. Then the twins’ squawking drew back his attention. “Right, cartridges. Now remember, these are real guns, you screw around even once, that’s the end of them, got it?”

“Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!” Han said, jumping with every word.

“Yes Daddy,” Uvay added. “But I can use my cane saber if I want instead of the gun too, right?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Yes for the four millionth time, you use whatever tools necessary and you feel best with. Alright, load up!”

Han snatched the energy cartridge out of Ben’s hand, snapped it into place, twisted, pulled the engagement lever, flicked off the safety, and aimed into the field.

Uvay was still on snapping it into place. Finally, after a chorus of _pew-pew-pew_ from Han, Uvay readied his pistol. “Can I keep the safety on until I’m really ready to use it?”

“Please do,” Rey said.

“’Cause I wanna use my saber.”

“That’s fine, baby-pie. Mommy likes you using the saber more than the gun.”

Ben snorted. “Moms are such worrywarts.”

“You shut up!”

“Kids gotta get hurt, it’s a part of life, makes them tougher.”

Rey smacked his arm. “I’m going to hurt you if anything happens to my babies!”

Ben reared back. “Heyyy!”

“COME ON!” Han cried, hands out. “I wanna shoot something!”

Rey pointed. “This is all your doing. All he talks about is shooting things, I never taught him anything about shooting, never read it in any books or watched any shows—”

Ben groaned. “He’s a boy, of course he wants to shoot stuff—alright boys! Line up and get ready.”

While the twins scrambled to the beginning of the course, Leia picked up a _jin_ fruit from the many buckets. “You know, Dad, I think you finally got through to them. I haven’t heard you roar Han’s name in ages.”

“Well, the year is young still, and so are they. Not expecting miracles, just no more house fires.”

Zorii strolled over and tugged at Ben’s silvering hair. “You gonna dye this before your kid’s wedding or what?”

Ben wormed away from her. “Leave me alone.”

“Just saying, all that lovely midnight black is taking a turn for the gray pretty fast.”

“Yeah, you try raising Han. Lucky I have any hair left.”

Poe put his hands on his hips. “You have an interesting fascination with Ben’s hair, dear wife.”

Sona pulled far harder on Ben’s hair than was necessary, eliciting a cry. “Ah, not her fault, Ben always had pretty hair. At least Benny got his hair so we can still see it.”

Benny put up his hand. “No touchy my hair! You’re way too rough, Aunt Sona.”

Rey grunted. “If you’re all done ogling my husband’s hair, the kids are waiting to start.”

“Wait!” Jorn said. Moments later, “Okay, I’m done ogling, carry on.”

Ben glared at the group of them before returning his attention to the boys. “Alright, on the count of three, one…two…three!”

Han leapt onto the obstacle course like gravity was a hoax. Uvay followed close behind, taking the easier paths, not doing nearly as much leaping and springing as his brother, and more than once Ben could tell he was using the Force to get him over some of the tougher spots. No matter, the point was to get the kids doing what they did best, to let them flourish in the direction they wanted to go, keep them from taking apart people’s lightsabers and getting their father killed.

From the course they could hear Han shouting, “I’m Han Solo, and I’m here to save the galaxy, so get out of my face or I’ll shoot you in the face and then shoot your ship in the face!”

Rey crossed her arms. “I don’t like the way he talks! It’s not appropriate for a little boy!”

Ben chuckled into his fist. “…shoot your ship in the face…”

Benny squinted. “And they’re into the dungeon. They’re not getting past this one easy. I put a level five puzzle lock on that door, there’s no way Uvay—” The twins popped out the other side. “Damnit!”

Ben reached toward the bucket in front of him. “Alright, ready the fruit.”

Dozens of green semi-hard spheres rose into the air, Benny, Leia, Rey, Ben, and Finn all gearing up the ammo.

Nishiri nudged Benny’s chest. “Won’t this make a mess?”

Benny shrugged. “The _cabas_ come at night and eat all these nasty things, so it’s kind of perfect. Safer than throwing rocks at the kids and we get to feed the local wildlife.”

Leia lifted her hand. “That was _my_ idea.”

“Queen of Modesty strikes again.”

“Go smell your own shoes, bantha-boy.”

“Shut up, squirt.”

Ben spread his fingers. “And fire!”

The fruit launched at Han and Uvay. Han, who never put his pistol down even to climb over obstacles, fired with strangely accurate precision that had to be his own Force capability at work. Otherwise the kid would have to be a shooting prodigy. Uvay swung his cane and smacked the fruit out of the air, and any he missed he shoved away with the Force.

“Die fruit, die!” Han cried out, blasting bits of green and ivory over the obstacle field.

Rey elbowed Ben. “Talk to him about that!”

Ben smiled and shook his head. “I’m _so_ not talking to him about that.”

“Oh you’re just eating this up.”

“Look at my kid! He’s shooting the shit out of this fruit like it’s no one’s business, look at how good he is!”

Sona nodded. “I agree with Ben. It is good to be an accurate marksman. Better he learns early how to kill something than too late.”

Finn grinned. “You’re sooo not helping, Sona.”

Rey let her fruit drop and crossed her arms again. “Fine, he’s good, happy? But he doesn’t have to talk about shooting everyone in the face. He’s just a baby, for the love of the stars.”

Han screamed, “Now I’m gonna shoot you in the butt! And your ship in the butt!”

Ben couldn’t stop laughing. “That one better?”

Rey rammed into him. “Oh shut up!”

Finally the twins flew off the end of the obstacle course and bounded for their parents. Han leapt into Ben’s arms, knocking him back a few steps, while Uvay jumped into Rey’s, far more careful than his brother.

“AGAIN!” Han screamed, bouncing in Ben’s arms. “Again again! I shot everyone and saved the galaxy and blew up their ship and took their ship and then I blew it up and blew up more bad guys and I want to blow them all up again and again!”

Rey pointed. “Ben!”

Ben cleared his throat. “Mommy thinks maybe you talk too much about shooting faces and blowing stuff up.”

“BEN!”

“I mean we, we feel—”

Han dove toward Rey and nearly fell out of Ben’s arms. Ben flipped him upside down and held him like that while the kid continued to flail his arms and talk. “But Mommy, you have to shoot to save the galaxy and I did and it’s safe now from bad guys but the bad guys came back because they’re stupid and now we have to go again or else the whole galaxy will blow up and if you don’t let me shoot the bad guys, it will be all your fault!”

Ben looked at Rey. “I’m not touching that one.”

Rey rolled her eyes and growled. “Oh, just go already and do it again!” While Han squirmed out of Ben’s grasp, Rey kissed Uvay’s squishy cheeks. “At least you talk nice, just like a little boy should.”

“That’s ‘cause I don’t have to shoot anyone in the face, I have a lightsaber so I can cut off their arms.”

Benny doubled over laughing, and Ben covered his face, trying his hardest not to join him.

Rey’s face fell and she put Uvay on the ground. “Just go with your brother.”

#

That night, Ben pulled up the blanket on Uvay. “Did you have fun on the obstacle course?”

Uvay nodded. “Yeah, but you have to put better puzzle locks. Those were boring.”

Ben nodded. “I’ll let Benny know right away that he has to come up with something less boring. Night, Uvay.” He kissed his son’s head.

“Night, Daddy.”

Ben turned to the other bed and pulled the blanket up on Han. “How about you? Did you have fun on the obstacle course?”

“Mm hm, it was the best ever and I got to shoot things with my own gun just like Grandpa Han and I saved the whole galaxy and tomorrow I’m gonna save the galaxy again and fly a big spaceship like the Millennium Falcon and Uvay can be Great-Uncle Chewie except he has to get taller.”

Ben grinned. “That he does.” Ben rested his elbows on the bed and put his chin on his folded hands. “You know, I bet Grandpa Han is looking down right now and is so proud of you boys and all the things you can do.”

“Mm hm, and I’m gonna tell him I’m gonna be just like him when I grow up and fly a big ship and kill all the bad guys, just like he did.”

Ben brushed Han’s brown hair from his forehead. “You know, when I was little like you, I wanted to be like Grandpa Han too, soooo much.”

“Did you get to be like him?”

Ben blinked, contemplating. “My life took a different path, but I like to think I eventually grew up to have his heart, and that’s the most important thing, I think.”

“Mm hm, I’m gonna grow up to have your heart because you’re the best daddy in the universe and I’m gonna fly across the galaxy and tell everyone that Ben Solo is the best dad ever.”

Ben pressed his lips together to stop the sudden quivering and blinked back a few tears. He brushed his hand over Han’s forehead. “Thank you, buddy.”

“And if they don’t like it, I’m gonna shoot them in the face.”

Ben squeezed his eyes shut and laughed, or cried, he wasn’t sure, he just knew that for all the kid put him through, Ben loved him so damn much. “Okay buddy, you do that.” He kissed his son’s head. “Night, Han.”

“Night Daddy.”

Ben stood, turned off the light, and stopped in the doorway. He could see Uvay’s fingers waving around, one of the many returned toys floating in the air above him. Han had his little stuffed spaceship in his hand, flying it through the air with little whooshing and _pew-pew_ noises before he whispered, “Die in the butt, bad guys!”

Ben smiled, shook his head, and closed the door.

#

_ Wedding _

Ben stood bursting with pride as he watched his son, bearing a crisp, ornate indigo robe, holding hands with Nishiri. She wore the most stunning cobalt blue dress with silver appliques, looking like royalty fit for his prince of a son. Rey did not stop sniffling once as the wedding progressed, and it got worse now as Benny finished his poem to his just-about-wife.

“…and across the galaxy, I’ve seen countless stars. But of them all, in this galaxy, and the countless galaxies by far, there is but one I cherish, who owns my heart true, my endless love, my everything, my forever…” He kissed her fingers. “…just you.”

Tears streamed down Nishiri’s face, her entire body trembling. Benny dabbed at her cheeks with the end of his sleeve, and Ben couldn’t have been more proud of the young man.

Rey broke into full wail beside him. Even Finn next to her swiped at his eyes. Ben wrapped his arm around Rey, who shook in her soft sobs, whispering about her baby.

Benny slipped a delicate ring onto Nishiri’s finger, and she placed the giant band on his.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

Ben signaled for the others in his row, and as Benny leaned down to kiss Nishiri, Ben lifted his hand along with Rey, Finn, and Leia. Benny and Nishiri rose into the air, her lovely dress billowing out below her, Benny’s uniform wafting in the breeze. The bride’s side of the family gasped in amazement. Benny held Nishiri’s back with his left hand, his right cupping her cheek.

Finn whispered, “That’s a holo-photo for the ages right there.”

#

Ben grabbed Benny in a bear hug and patted his back. “Congratulations, son. So proud of you. I’ve watched you grow from a wonderful boy to an incredible man, and your wife is so lucky to have found someone like you.”

“Damnit, Dad, don’t make me cry.”

“But it’s so much fun!”

Benny chuckled and squeezed him tighter. “Thanks, Dad.”

Ben let him go and hugged Nishiri in a far gentler manner. “Congratulations, my girl, and welcome to the family. Benny is just as lucky to have a beautiful, sweet girl like you who loves him so much.”

“Thank you Mr.—Ben—well, Dad.”

Ben kissed her forehead and listened to Benny next to him. “For the love of the stars, Mom, have you been crying this entire time?”

“Shut up! You…sweet little baby boy who grew up too fast and now you’re married and how are you married already? Oh I just love you, love you love you love you.”

Benny rocked her in his arms. “I love you too, Mom. And I’ll always need you to get me an ouch thing.”

Rey laughed through her tears. “No, your wife can put up with your whiny ouchies from now on, I gladly hand that one off.”

Benny move on to Finn. “Dad?”

Finn hugged him hard. “Oh congratulations, kiddo. Seems like just yesterday you were this tiny thing in my arms using the Force to chuck toys at my head.”

Benny laughed. “Yeah, now you can all have revenge when I have a kid of my own, watch him blow up half of Coruscant and fling things at my head.”

“Oh I’m gonna love every minute of it.”

Ben felt a tap on his arm and turned. Nishiri’s parents stood beside him. “Ilya, Nev, nice to see you again, and congratulations. Your daughter is stunning, and we couldn’t be more proud to have her in the family.”

Ilya held her arms out, and Ben was forced to give her a hug. “Oh Ben, we’re so proud to make your boy our own.” Ilya let him go. “He’s such a gentleman, so good to her, and so incredibly funny, oh does he make us laugh!”

“Yeah, he’s a character sometimes.”

“I am so glad she found a nice good Chandrilian boy to marry.”

Ben didn’t want to mention Benny was actually born on Coruscant, but he was as Chandrilian as anyone on this planet.

“I have to tell you, we had our reservations when Nishiri came home and said she was dating Ben Solo.”

Ben’s stomach twinged.

“We thought, ‘Oh boy, that one that got involved with that First Order business?’ And she says no, his son, and we were like, ‘Ugh, you gotta be kidding me.’ But then she brings him home, and he was just the sweetest and most precious thing, and well, if a beautiful thing like that came from you, then we figured you can’t be so bad.”

What the hell did Ben say to that? “Oh, well, thank you.”

“I know she tells me you all work up there in space doing missions, all across the galaxy and whatnot, just please take care of our girl, she means the universe to us, and we couldn’t imagine anything happening to her, space is so dangerous.”

“Oh, believe me, she’ll be in good hands. Benny wouldn’t let anything happen to her, and we’re all trained soldiers and warriors. We’ll do everything we can to keep her safe, I promise.”

“Thank you and, well, welcome to the family!”

Ben felt an incessant tapping on his arm. “Yes, thank you—excuse me.” He turned to find Poe. “What?!”

“Couldn’t help but notice Han and Uvay are nowhere to be found. Might want to look into that.”

Ben froze. “HAN?!”

The twins burst out from beneath the table that held the cake. “Here I am!” Han cried.

The table teetered, the cake listing in a terrifying arc. Ben, Rey, Benny, Leia, and Finn all thrust out their hands at once, freezing it in place. Gingerly, with beautiful care and consideration, the cake softly returned to its rightful place. Rey yanked Han and Uvay into the air and held them suspended above her head with no escape.

Ilya and Nev’s eyes, as well as the rest of Nishiri’s family, all turned toward them.

Ben shrugged. “Welcome to the family?”

#

_ Leaving and Coming Home _

Ben plopped a box down on the patio table. “What the hell am I looking at?” His daughter was standing in the center of the training ring while a line of teen boys waited to speak to her.

Rey cleared her throat. “The students are quite sad to see Leia go, and apparently they’re making a plea to her in hopes she’ll take one of them along on the trip.”

“Well I’m going to go rip their faces off.”

Rey grabbed his arm. “Ben, no. Leia can handle herself just fine. If she wants the boys to go, she’ll make them go.”

“Why is she putting up with this?”

“Oh she’s enjoying it, even if she looks like she couldn’t give a damn about any of them.”

“Well they’re not coming along, nah ah, none of them. Horny little bastards.”

“Ben!”

“I was a teen boy once! I know what’s on their minds. Not going to touch my little girl.”

“Ben leave them alone and help me with the boxes or we’re never getting off the planet.”

Poe jogged over as Ben lifted the box once again. “Hey, need a hand?”

“Yes,” Ben suggested, “go over there and punch every teen boy looking at my daughter.”

“Hey, I feel ya, mine’s giving me a heart attack lately with the boys snarling around her.”

Ben paused and took a breath. “You sure you won’t come? Won’t be the same without you.”

Poe grabbed another box and followed Ben to the transport. “Eh, getting a little tired of the fast life, and the girls don’t want to leave Chandrila. I don’t want to disrupt their lives. Besides, we’ll hold down the fort here, with Panner and his wife taking Tarn and Jorn’s house and Tad taking Finn’s, we’ll keep the school running. I don’t know much about the Force, but I know what you all stand for, and that’s good enough for me.”

“Gonna miss you, Poe. I’ll have to fly my own ship like an idiot.”

“Fuck it, let your kid fly it. He’s better than you, anyway.”

“Fuck off, I mean yeah, Benny is going to take over the ship one day anyway, but—”

“Benny? I mean Han! Kid’s a natural, could teach you a thing or two.”

Ben glared at him. “You’re funny. Real funny.”

Poe snickered. “Oh I try. Seriously though, how are you going to keep that kid contained on a ship? He’ll be climbing the walls like Tevi and Jeel.”

“Yeah, I’m…yeah…”

Ben heaved his box onto the transport, followed by Poe. In the distance, Nishiri was saying goodbye to her parents, Benny standing with a gentle smile on his face. Leia finally made her way from the training ring, the teen boys still tailing her. Ben gave them a good glare and placed his hand on his lightsaber, sending them scattering.

At the Redemption, droids loaded the boxes onto the ship while the crew said their final goodbyes to Poe, Zorii, Panner, and Tad. After plenty of tears and hugs, the ramp closed up on the ship. Ben sat in the pilot’s chair, Benny as his copilot. “Systems check?”

“Clear,” Benny said.

“Testing ignition.”

“Clear.”

Han sprung from seat to seat in the lounge, then bounced onto the bridge and used the couch as a trampoline. “Gonna go up in space and see the stars and planets and shoot the rocks and bad guys and kick them in the butt—”

“Hey Han,” Ben said, “why don’t you come over here and sit with Daddy.”

Han continued to jump. “Can’t sit. Bouncing’s too much fun.”

“That’s too bad, I would show you how to fly Daddy’s ship but—”

“FLY THE SHIP! FLY THE SHIP!” Han sprung into Ben’s lap and even if Ben wanted more kids, he wasn’t having them ever again after that landing.

Ben coughed and groaned. “Okay buddy…let’s try to be a little more gentle with Daddy.”

“Because he’s oooooold,” Benny said.

“Han, did I ever tell you your brother is a little shithead?”

Han laughed hard. “Ha ha! Daddy called you a shithead—”

“WHAT DID I JUST HEAR?!” came Rey’s screech from the lounge.

Ben coughed. “That was me! Me and my foul mouth again—Ow!” He rubbed his head, glared once at the lounge then returned to the controls. “Okay Han, so this ship is different from a fighter like the X-Wing or TIE Fighter. First, we perform the system checks…”

As Ben ran through the steps, his mind hearkened back to his father teaching him how to fly the Millennium Falcon for the first time—Uncle Chewie where Benny sat, and he on his father’s lap, eyes wide in wonder at all the buttons and controls. Nostalgia bit him hard, squeezing him with pangs of remorse, but then he took a breath and softened.

_Dad, if you can hear me, be with me for this, be with me for this special moment your Grandson will never forget, just like I haven’t forgotten my first time with you._

Ben closed his eyes and he could feel it, that warmth, that strong confidence his father always exuded, could even smell his cologne. For just a moment, he swore he saw the gold dice swinging above the viewport.

His throat tight, but feeling happy, Ben placed Han’s hand on the throttle. “You’re going to pull this down and keep this stick straight because we’re going straight up. Nice and easy, go ahead, fire us up, Han.”

Ben waited for the jamming of the throttle, but no, Han pushed it steady and slow, fully engaged in his task and focused on doing it right. The Redemption lifted, Hanna City shrinking in the viewport.

Han laughed and kicked his feet. “We’re flying! I’m flying the big ship!”

Ben remembered saying those exact words and swore he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Yes you are buddy.” He cleared his throat.

Benny looked at him. “Dad, you okay?”

Ben nodded. “Yeah. I’m good. Think I’m finally good.” He brushed away a tear and pointed to the lever. “Now push that lever that way and slide the throttle all the way up. That’s it, good boy.”

“Wow!” Han bounced in Ben’s lap. “We’re going so fast!”

“Yes we are, now just wait, just a little more…okay, on the count of three, you’re going to flip that switch to put us into hyperspace, ready? One…two…three!”

Han flicked the switch, and the viewport flashed blue as they jumped into hyperspace. Han’s face lit up, mouth wide curving into an enormous smile.

Ben wrapped his arms around the boy. “And that’s how we fly the ship.”

“Again! Again!”

Ben laughed. “Next planet we land on, promise.”

Han scrambled off Ben’s lap. “Mommy! Mommy-Mommy-Mommy, I flew the ship!”

Ben braced his hand on the console and closed his eyes. “Thanks, Dad.” He felt a big, warm hand land on his. Ben opened his eyes to see Benny smiling at him, hand outstretched to rest on his own. In his heart, Ben felt like the circle was now complete. The unusual warmth he felt before faded, but the one in his heart did not.

He put his arm around Benny and smiled. “It’s good to be home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you sniffled at the end but I cried my eyes out writing it, that and the putting the twins to bed scene when Han calls Ben the best daddy in the galaxy (and then threatens to shoot the face of any who disagree LOL!) In one of the previous shorts, Welcome Baby Leia, Ben really connects with his mom again. In this one, I really wanted Ben to mend some long broken ties with his dad, which is much harder with no Force ghost to talk and listen to. But I like to think that Ben felt what he'd been needing to feel for a long time and can finally step out of the past and into the future.
> 
> I did hate saying goodbye to Poe for a while, but he is getting a bit up there in age, and for the next story, I'm going to start needing some room on the ship. Besides, he and Zorii don't want to leave their favorite dungeon...
> 
> Benny got married OMG! Hearts are breaking all over Chandrila!
> 
> PS There's a buttload of foreshadowing for the next story in the series, which at this rate is probably going to be a long one. But I had to get this one out there first because Han...HAN! He will set a whole lot of things in motion come next entry!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, love your comments and kudos! Remember to subscribe to the series so you can be informed with the next shorts are out! [ https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656109](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656109)

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/shannon_enloe) @shannon_enloe and [ Facebook](https://fb.me/enloeddmedia) @enloeddmedia


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